White Blank Page
by PurpleSkye05
Summary: What happens after The Winter Soldier walks away from Captain America? How does he discover who he really is? How does he come to terms with what he's done? Follow the story of Bucky Barnes straight after 'The Winter Soldier' ends, as he finds himself with an unexpected ally. Can she help him to recover his true memories and more importantly help him discover who he truly is?
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter 1_

'This is the beginning, of anything you want.'- Boy

Some days are just ordinary days. You get up, go to work, eat, talk to friends, watch TV, go to sleep. Then you get up and do it all over again the next day, and the next. Uneventful, unchanging. The world keeps going in the same way. Every day, millions of people get up and experience days like this and they know that tomorrow will probably be the same. They keep going, living their lives, going through the motions.

Yet some days aren't ordinary. These days are rarer. They don't happen very often, yet when they do everything changes. It doesn't have to be a big thing that makes a day different. You could meet a new friend, fall down the stairs, have an argument with someone. Then there are those days. The days that change everything. Everyone at some point experiences one of those days. A family member could go to hospital, someone could die, you lose your job. Although it doesn't have to be some terrible things thing that makes a day unordinary. There are plenty of happy occasions that can change a day. The birth of a baby, a wedding, moving house, a new job. Whatever the reason that makes a day different, these are the days that we remember forever. These are the days when time seems to stand still. Where you notice every tiny detail. It's strange the things that people remember. A smell, a sound, a feeling. Most days merge into one another, a series of endless repetition where each day is as forgetful as the next. But these days, these special days stick in our minds forever, a vivid image of colour against the blurred grey of normality.

That day was an ordinary day. It started just like every other day and Ally had been sure it would be like every day. She had already mapped out her entire day. She would go to work as a teacher, come home, make dinner for herself, spend the night watching something on Netflix and be in bed and asleep by half past 10, lust like most other nights that week. That was a typical day for Ally and although most people would consider it boring, including Ally, she really didn't care. It had been months since the last school holiday, work was tough and as someone who has just broken up with her boyfriend of 18 months, the last thing she wanted to be doing after work was going out and trying to meet new people. Right now she was enjoying some time on her own and even though it was ordinary, it was exactly what she needed.

However things never turn out in the way we expect. We plan all the happy days and we look forward to them, but it's the other days, the devastating days that tear your life apart and come completely out of the blue, like hurricanes come and destroy everything in its path, striking suddenly and leaving devastation in its wake. Those are the days that change us the most. Those are the days that we can rarely go back from. Those are the days where nothing will ever be the same again. And we never see them coming.

* * *

His entire body convulsed in pain as the bullet entered his body, hitting off of his already dislocated shoulder. Gritting his teeth, he raised his metal arm, wincing slightly as the movement pulled at his muscles and fired two shots straight into the head of the shooter. He had been aiming for straight between the eyes, but what could he say, he'd had a fairly eventful day. Beside the bullet did its job. A kill was a kill. The hydra agent wouldn't be firing back and he most certainly wouldn't be followed this time. Not by Hydra, not by SHIELD and not by whoever the hell else might be coming after him.

The adrenaline was still coursing through his veins, keeping his senses alert as he waited, listening and silent for the soft sounds of approaching footsteps. For the tell-tale click of a gun. Or even for the soft and steadying breath of a predator watching him from the shadows, ready to strike. With his heightened senses, he could hear every sound for at least a mile around. Every rustle of leaves, the flapping of a birds wings at it took flight, the distant sounds of sirens. But not what he was listening for. The area was clear. He had killed them all.

Accepting that the battle was over, for now at least, he allowed his body to relax slightly, only to instantly tense up again as the pain from his shoulder shot through him. He had been shot before. He was used to pain. He was trained to handle it. It was just that his injuries weren't usually so severe. Then again, he hadn't faced another enhanced before. Another equal. He was fairly certain he had a few broken ribs, a few cuts and bruises that weren't too serious, the dislocated shoulder and the gunshot wound would need attention. As much as he might like, he couldn't ignore them.

It was in that moment, the moments of silence, those eerie and tense moment at the end of a battle, the moments where your body is still bracing for an attack, only to finally let go and slump in relief when it doesn't happen, when the fear finally took hold of The Winter Soldier.

For the first time in his life, the one that he could remember anyway, he didn't know what to do. He had no orders and no one to give him orders. He could finally make his own decisions. He could finally make decisions about what he was going to do, who he was going to be. But he didn't know who that was. The weight of the power that he had finally been granted weighed down heavy on him, crushing the slight grip of reality that he was struggling to hold onto. He was The Winter Soldier, The Asset. He belonged to Hydra. Or did he? That didn't feel right. That wasn't who he was. It was and it was what he remembered, yet it was wrong. It wasn't all there was. There was something that he was missing. Some thin wisp of a memory, floating around the edges of his subconscious that told him he was something more than this. That he had been more. Flashes whizzed through his brain like a strobe light, causing him to close his eyes at the pain of conflicting realities that struggled to fit together and make sense in his brain. The more that he tried to cling onto them, the more they disappeared into the darkness of the memory that he couldn't grasp. Or maybe it wasn't his memory that was causing the blackness at the edge of his vision. Maybe it was caused by the blood that was pouring out of his body and dripping gently down his arm, pooling into a bright red puddle underneath his right arm.

Whatever decisions he had to make about what he was going to do would have to wait. His basic training and his instinct for survival took over. He was weak, he was injured, he was wet and he needed to find shelter. Hydra, Shield, whoever they were would be coming back for him. He was dangerous, he was a liability and he was a secret that they would never let out. Let them try he thought. Because despite suffering from blood loss, he was finally making his own decisions and even though he may not know who he was or what he was going to do, he knew one thing with absolute certainty. He wasn't going back.

* * *

The streets were deserted as Ally walked back from work. The smell of burning smoke still filled the air, the smoke rising from the burning wreckage that was still visible, glowing against the night sky. Normally Ally wouldn't have walked the streets on her own this late at night, but she hadn't really had any other option. The buses weren't running and finding a taxi was virtually impossible. It was times like this when she wished she would just get over her stupid fear and buy a car, but even after nearly a year and a half of living in America and she was still scared to drive on the wrong side of the road. Normally she would have found the empty streets, the smell of burning smoke and the sounds of sirens in the distance unnerving, but at the moment she was honestly too tired to care. All she wanted to do was to get home and sleep and try to forget about all the horrific things she had seen that day.

It was one of those days, the ones that when you think back on them are just so crazy that when later you try and think about what happened, it all just seems like a dream. Those days seemed to be happening more and more often. A few years ago the world had been relatively normal, just full of your average dangerous lunatic or mass murderer. Nowadays the news was filled with alien invasions, real live gods from other planets, monsters destroying cities and people with strange abilities. Ally had watched it all on the news like everyone else, wondering what was happening to the world. It seemed like each and every day was getting crazier and crazier. Nothing really seemed to surprise them anymore.

Yet today was different. Today she wasn't sitting in front of a TV screen watching the world go to hell. Today she got to witness it all first hand and what was worse, she had got to witness the aftermath of it all. Of course she had known that there were casualties of things like this. That some people hadn't been saved. But the Avengers were heroes and had saved entire cities. That was what the news always focused on. You could almost forget about the people who hadn't made it. They were just a number, a statistic, a figure. A picture shown on a screen for a second never to be mentioned again. But today Ally knew that she wouldn't forget about the people who hadn't made it. She had seen the devastation first hand. She had seen the tears and the grief as the children in her class were told that their parents wouldn't be coming home. She didn't think she wold ever forget the looks on their faces.

It was why she was so late home. She didn't feel like she could leave the school until every last child had been picked up by someone. In a city like Washington D.C you would be hard pressed to find someone who wasn't connected to the government in some way. Five different children in her class alone had parents who worked for SHIELD, for two of them, life wouldn't be the same again.

As Ally climbed up what seemed like the never ending stairs to her apartment, she knew the fourth floor hadn't been a good idea but she was a sucker for a view, all she could think about was climbing into bed and try to forget about everything that she had seen. She was exhausted. Trying to pretend to a class of 8 year olds that everything was fine when three large, plane things were literally falling out if the sky less than 2 miles away wasn't easy and she felt emotionally and physically drained from the act of keeping a fake smile in place all day.

When she finally closed the door to her apartment, Ally sagged against the door in relief, locking out the mad, crazy and dangerous world, just wanting to fall asleep and put the whole day behind her. Little did she know that her night was just beginning. The mad, crazy and dangerous world had followed her home.

* * *

 _A/N- So this is my first ever story published on this site and also the first story that hasn't been written in the first person. (It's so much harder). Anyway thanks so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed. This chapter is very much an introduction so please keep on reading to find out what happens. Please feel free to comment and I'll do my best to reply._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 _'_ _Oh sweetie,_

 _Monsters are real_

 _And they look like people.'_

He'd made a mistake. Another one. It was the definition of a bad day. Everything he seemed to do, every decision he made seemed to be the wrong one. He'd failed his first ever mission, been beaten, shot and now his damned finger had nearly been bitten off.

He'd waited on the outskirts of the city, waiting for the cover of darkness. Darkness was good. He knew how to hide in the darkness and the shadows and so he waited. When the last rays of the sun died, he made his way to the city. The streets were quiet, too quiet. It made hiding even harder, but not impossible. All he had to do was stick to the darkness and he'd be fine. No one would even notice him. He hadn't wanted to go back to the city. It was the last place he should be, but he needed answers and his time frame was limited. However with a shot to hell, dislocated shoulder he wasn't moving as quickly as he needed to. He was in the centre of the city when he first heard the sirens. At first it was just a few cars in the distance, but when they got louder and closer, their flashing lights illuminating the shadows that he was hiding in, he knew that his strategy wasn't working. The city was crawling with police, all hunting for him or people like him. One look at him and they wouldn't hesitate to shoot, knowing that he was involved in what had happened. He had to take cover and quickly.

Looking around he didn't see many options. He was in the middle of a residential zone. Not many disused buildings that he could fix himself up in. Looking around there were a few shops and cafes but he quickly ruled them out, they would have security cameras. That left the apartments. It was riskier, but a safer option than staying where he was. He did a quick scan of his options and settled for the block that had the best views of the street and the best exit strategy in case he was discovered. Most of the apartments had lights on. Only a few remained dark. On a day like today when people were scared, they gravitated towards their loved ones and their homes where they felt safe. If one was empty at this time of night, it meant that the person wouldn't be coming home. The streets were empty. Everyone was where they needed to be for the night. He selected an apartment on the top floor with the best exit route. He should be safe there for a few hours to dig out the bullet and reset his shoulder before he continued on his mission. His mission to find the truth.

He entered the apartment through a window, entering it slowly, hesitating for a moment just in case there was an alarm. When after a moment there was no noise, he slid in fully and closed the window behind him. It was almost funny how people thought they were safe just because they were high up. People were never safe. If someone wanted in, they would find a way.

He did a quick scan of his surroundings, 2 bed apartment, single woman in her twenties judging by the décor and the pictures she had hanging on the wall. He went to the bathroom and rooted around for what he needed, anti- septic, cotton wool, bandages and some tweezers. Taking them back to the kitchen he laid everything out on the kitchen as he boiled the kettle so he could disinfect the tweezers properly.

Using the tweezers, which weren't exactly the right shape but they did the job, he dug around in his shoulder for the bullet. It hadn't gone in deep, but that didn't stop him from gritting his teeth in pain. Although the anti- septic that he had he used was worse, he'd nearly taken a chunk out of the table when he's dabbed that onto his wound. He was just wiping up the blood that had trickled down his chest when he heard a sound that stopped him dead. Someone was opening the door. He cursed himself at his stupidity. He should have heard the sound earlier but he'd been distracted by his shoulder and had missed the sound of the footsteps, yet another mistake. He didn't have time to run now. Which left him with only one choice. What he didn't realise was that he was about to make his biggest mistake of the day so far.

* * *

Ally felt it almost the second that the door closed behind her. That feeling that something isn't right. Call it intuition or a second sense, but whatever it was, Ally felt it the second that she set foot into her apartment. She slowly walked around her apartment, checking the living room, bedroom and bathroom and with only one room to go she has just about convinced herself that she was imagining things, after a pretty stressful and crazy day.

But when she walked into the kitchen she knew immediately that her original instinct had been correct. She had barely had time to process the bloody bandages scattered across the kitchen table that she definitely hadn't left there this morning. Feeling a chill run down her spine she didn't even have time to take step backward before a hand appeared out of nowhere and clamped tightly across her mouth and another, much stronger arm shot around her middle, pinning her arms tightly to her side and pulling her back in a sharp tug against what she could only assume was a person, although the hard body pressed behind her felt like it was as immovable and strong and steel.

Immediately she began to panic and tried to fight against the arms holding her in place, bucking and thrashing as much as she could. The arm around her waist didn't even budge an inch, but when she bashed against him she heard a small grunt of pain and the hand on her mouth relaxed slightly, enough for her to clamp her teeth down on one of the fingers in front of her. She knew she drew blood, she could taste it in her mouth and she was rewarded with another small hiss of pain. However her small moment of satisfaction didn't last long as the strong arm around her middle jerked her even tighter. Ally was sure that she was one small ounce of strength away from having her rib cracked. Immediately she stilled, trying to breathe in spite of the pain.

Her heart was pounding loudly from a mixture of adrenaline and fear, but the words that her captor uttered sorted that problem, as her blood ran cold at the words that he whispered in her ear.

'Try that again and you will die.'

* * *

 _A/N- Thanks for everyone who has read so far. Please add a wee review if you like what you've read._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _'_ _It's okay to be scared. Being scared means you're about to do something really, really brave.' – Mandy Hale_

Everything hurt. That was the first thought that entered her head. Not hurt exactly, but stiff. Opening her eyes at the sudden memory that popped into her head, she jerked with the realisation of why she was feeling so stiff. Ally had her hands pulled tightly behind her, tying her to what she could recognise as her own kitchen chair. It was dark in the room, although the early morning light filtering in through the window did nothing to help her see more clearly. She scanned the room, searching around the shadows of the room. Her once cosy home all at once seemed suddenly gloomy and imposing as she searched the empty spaces all around her. When she was satisfied that she could see nothing, and hadn't heard any movement, she finally accepted that she was alone. Whoever had been in her apartment, wasn't here anymore. Whatever they had come for, they had clearly got it and they had left.

She started to pull and twist at the bonds holding her wrists tightly in place to the slats in her chair and cried in both frustration and pain when they wouldn't budge, the rope cutting deeply into her wrists. Not resigned to sitting in her chair with no hope of freedom, she continued with her only option and continued to pull and tug at the rope, ignoring the pain in the hope that she could loosen the bonds enough to free one hand. She only stopped when the stony silence of her apartment was broken by a steady and cold voice that emerged from the darkness. It was only one word that he said, not that she knew what he had said since he was speaking a foreign language. Russian would have been her first guess, but that was strange since she was pretty sure that when he had threatened her the night before, he had spoken with an American accent, but maybe her mind had just been playing tricks on her. Whatever he said though, it had the desired effect and she stilled in her movements.

Despite her fear (and she was afraid, she could hear her heartbeat ringing in her ears and if she hadn't been forced to sit in the chair, she was quite sure that her shaking knees would have given way by now) she leaned forward, trying to get a better look at the person who had spoken. Call it morbid curiosity, but if she was going to die then she at least wanted to know who it was that was going to kill her. It wasn't daybreak yet, but it was getting lighter and staring into the furthest shadows of her kitchen, she could almost convince herself that she could see the black outline of a figure. A rather tall and large figure.

Sounding rather braver than she felt, which was quite a feat considering she felt that she had a rather large frog living in her throat that she had to swallow deeply just to keep her voice from trembling. 'I can see you, you know and considering that the sun is coming up and I'll see you in about half hour anyway, you may as well come out so we can get this over with, because my arse is killing me.'

If Ally could take back what she had said then she would, for when after a long moment of silence in which she could almost feel his eyes boring into hers the large black outline took a few steps forward and into the dull light, she couldn't help the shaky gasp that audibly worked its way into her lungs. Ally instinctively leaned back in her chair trying to put as much distance between them as possible. If she had been scared before, it was nothing to how she felt now that she could actually see her attacker. He was the very definition of terrifying. If he had looked large in the shadows, it was nothing to how he looked standing only a few feet in front of her. His shoulders were wide and broad, covered in a leather, something, armour would be the best word to describe it with its various straps and belts that scarily reminded her of a strait jacket. All over him, attached to just about every part of him, his waist, chest, legs, boots were various weapons of just about every shape, size and description, but what drew her attention the most were his arms. Not just because they were huge and incredibly muscular, she certainly hadn't exaggerated the feeling that he could have crushed her when those arms had been wrapped around her the night before, but the fact that one was made of entirely metal. At first she had thought it was armour, like a gauntlet that a knight used to wear, but it fit his arm too well and almost seemed like a part of him. What sort of person had a metal arm? Not just a prosthetic arm, but a fully functioning robotic metal arm? Examining the final part of him, the part that Ally had deliberately left till last, she looked at his face. His face would tell her exactly what sort of man her was, although the weapons and metal arm had probably told her all that she really needed to know. Slowly she raised her eyes and took in his face. He had shoulder length dark hair that hung loosely around his face, obscuring parts of his face from her in the shadowy light. However she could make out the chiseled features and the two black eyes that gleamed back at her.

'Who are you?' she whispered in fear.

* * *

'Who are you?' Such a simple question and yet he didn't know. He couldn't even begin to form an answer to that question, so he stayed silent, staring at the girl who sat opposite from him.

He tried to think through all of the things that he did know about himself, trying to piece things together. James Buchanan Barnes that man, the soldier had said. He had seemed to know him and for a flicker of a moment he had thought he felt something, a spark of recognition. A hint of a life that might have been. Yet the name didn't seem right. It was achingly familiar and yet something about it was wrong.

What else did he know? HYDRA. He was part of HYDRA. He killed people. The Winter Soldier. The Asset was what he was called. He solved problems. Eliminated threats. Took out the enemy. A flash of a memory appeared in his mind, 'your work has been a gift to mankind. HYDRA can give the world the freedom it deserves.'

When his mission was over he was meant to return to the HYDRA base, at the Federal Reserve Bank. Yet something was telling him that he shouldn't go back. He hadn't completed his mission. He wasn't to go back till the mission was complete, yet he knew that wasn't it and it would never be. The mission was over. He hadn't stopped the soldier. He hadn't wanted to stop the soldier. His mission had failed.

So why wasn't he going back? HYDRA were trying to save the world, to protect the world. But were they? Something about it didn't seem right. The soldier in the heli- carrier told him that people were going to die and that he couldn't let that happen. He been a HYDRA weapon, he had killed people. He was used to death, so why did that bother him. That HYDRA were going to let people die, lots of people. And then the soldier had saved him. If that man was his enemy, a threat to society and freedom, why had he saved him, the man who had been sent to kill him? None of it made any sense to him and it didn't get him any closer to finding out who he was.

His head started to ache with the questions and thoughts ricocheting around his head one after the other. The more he tried to claw through his brain to find answers, the more the answers slipped through his fingers like water.

'Hello, are you just going to stand there? Who are you and what do you want with me?'

The voice pulled him out of his head and back into reality. Back into the little kitchen that was beginning to fill with the light of the sun that was beginning to peak over the horizon. Back to the girl who was sat in front of him, staring at him questioningly.

He hadn't missed the way that her gaze had traced over every part of him, taking all of him in. Analysing every detail. He hadn't missed the gasp of fear or the look of alarm when she saw his arm. But it was the look in her eyes when she finally looked into his that had him wanting to turn around and leave the room. She wasn't just scared of him, she was terrified of him. Knives, guns and a metallic arm were scary, but whatever she saw in his eyes had her shrinking back from him in terror. What sort of person was he that he could garner that sort of reaction?

* * *

Ally continued to stare at the man standing in her kitchen, wondering if he was actually going to respond in any way. It had been a few minutes since she had asked him who he was and ever since his face had completely closed down, taking him some place far away. She didn't mean to sound quite so snarky when she was speaking to him, but she was scared and apparently that made her do or say incredibly stupid things. In the light of day she could see him more clearly. Not that it helped the situation any. It only made him look more terrifying, not less. His face was littered with cuts and bruises. He had gashes on his cheek, forehead and chin although they had stopped bleeding. Glancing around the rest of the kitchen Ally saw various blood soaked bandages and cloths and it suddenly made sense who he was.

'You're one of them aren't you? You're HYDRA.' She saw the slight stiffening in his body at her accusation and she knew that she had hit upon the truth. 'All that stuff that happened today, all those people that died, that was you. You were involved in all of that.'

The realisation of who he was and what he had done, spiked Ally's fear as well as her anger and that made for a dangerous combination. Before rational thought could even enter her mind, she opened her mouth and started screaming for help, wanting nothing more than to get this monster out of her house. However she had barely gotten two syllables out of her lungs before he moved even quicker than she would have thought possible and pressed his metal hand tightly and painfully around her throat, jerking both her and the chair backwards until it rested solely on the two back legs. The only think stopping her from plummeting to the floor was his grip around her throat. A grip that was squeezing the very breath from her.

'Did I not warn you what would happen if you tried that again?' he said in a low voice.

Ally lifted her eyes and met his gaze trying to keep the fear from her eyes. Something she managed until she actually looked into his eyes. She had been expecting to meet the cold, hard, black eyes that she had looked at earlier, yet she found herself staring into the clearest blue eyes that she had ever seen.

'Do it then,' she managed to croak out through her restricted throat. Ally wasn't particularly known for being a brave person. In fact she hated confrontation. Yet after a day of seeing the pain and loss of so many other innocent lives, she'd come to face the inevitability of the situation and the knowledge that the statistics were about to increase by a factor of one.

However the challenge that Ally issued seemed to confuse him. She felt the infinitesimal movement of his hand tightening around her and the last bit of air in her lungs, exited in a painful rasping gasp. Yet even has he did it, his face, more specifically his eyes were fighting it, showing some sort of regret over what he was doing. At the sound of her gasping for air, he wrenched his hand away from her in one swift movement, bringing the chair back the floor with a bang. Despite coughing and gasping for air, for the first time since she had woken Ally felt a little spark of hope that she might make it through this alive. She had seen something in his eyes that proved he wasn't just the ruthless killer that he looked, he had a conscience, or at least the beginning of one. If she did exactly what he said then maybe he wouldn't kill her. Maybe he would leave her alone. But then in that moment of hope, her phone rang and everything went to hell.

* * *

 _A/N- Thanks so much to everyone who has favourited or followed this story. It really means a lot. I've had this story in my head for quite a while now so it feels amazing to actually get it out there and share it with everyone. Having a few issues with spacing which is why I've put the lines in to separate Bucky and Ally's parts. Anyway I hope you are enjoying it and the characters. Please leave a comment or a review with any questions or comments you have._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 _'_ _I knew who I was this morning but I've changed a few times since then.' - Lewis Carroll_

Ally had seen him begin to relax, to see her as no longer a threat to him. Yet the unfortunate timing of her phone ringing caused him to immediately tense up, liking a volt of electricity had just been streamed through his body. He didn't even need to move. The look in his eyes warned her enough that she shouldn't even try to reach for the phone.

They both kept perfectly still, watching each other, listening to the seemingly never ending rings of the phone before it finally clicked onto voicemail. After listening to the posh lady's standard message that Ally had never quite gotten around to changing, well in truth she hated listening to her own voice and was quite happy to keep the generic one. When eventually the message ended, Ally gasped when she heard her mum's voice coming through the speaker. Instinctively she leaned forward, wanting to be closer to her mum, when the man took a step closer to her, his eyes cold, dark, the warning clear.

'Allison MacLean, where on earth are you? I've been worried sick?' came her mum's voice from the other side of the room. 'I can't even keep track of how many times I've called you. Please, please call me back and let me know that you're okay.' Ally ached to answer the phone, every part of her wanting to reach out and speak to her mum and tell her that she was fine, that she hadn't been caught up in all of the crazy things that happened in Washington D.C that day. She could just imagine her mum watching the TV in horror, just like everyone else. Ally's mum and dad had never wanted her to move to America in the first place. They had wanted her to stay at home in Scotland and settle down but Ally had wanted her freedom and a bit of adventure. Not that it was working out quite so well for her at the moment. She knew her mum would be going mad with worry, pacing up and down the living room and phoning every family member they had to keep them up to date of the no news that they had. As much as she knew that her mother's worry for her would be completely genuine, the woman did thrive on drama and would be in her element. Once she knew that Ally was fine (Ally was still thinking positively about the terrifying HYDRA agent standing in front of her), her mum would probably tell half the town that Ally had been there and seen it all. That three children in her class had lost parents and wasn't it all terribly sad.

Whatever her mother's faults Ally was still desperate to speak to her. She looked pleadingly at the man in front of her, silently begging him to let her answer the phone, but he didn't budge. He didn't even flinch when the first tear rolled down her cheek, if anything his eyes became even steelier and she knew that it was a hopeless case. She wouldn't be able to persuade him.

She angrily tore her gaze away from him to give her attention back to the phone and her mother's voice. '… so I called Mark to see if he had heard anything and he said he might pop round to check on you.'

'Oh, mum,' Ally couldn't help but moan, wishing that for once she could not interfere. Ally knew she would be worried, but if there was one person that a mum should not contact, it's your ex- boyfriend.

'…so it is rather late Ally and I'm sure your fine, they did say that there were issues with the phones because of demand but please just let us know that your fine. Love from everyone here. Bye,' she said before the apartment was swallowed back into a deathly silence.

Ally didn't know what to feel. Of course she was worried about her mum and her family and the worry that they would be going through. Her family had been through so much recently, it was the last thing that they needed. But then there was the added stress of Mark and the fact that she would possibly have to face him. She hadn't seen him in weeks and she really wasn't sure that she was ready for that today, when she's had no sleep, had spent the night knocked out and tied to a chair and had a scary looking HYDRA agent standing in her kitchen whilst her kitchen table was covered in what she sincerely hoped was his blood and not the blood of people he had killed.

Ally had moved to Washington D.C a little over a year ago. It hadn't been her first choice of places to go to, but when she had been offered a teaching job there she jumped at the chance. Working Visas weren't that easy to get for the USA so she wasn't about to turn down a job offer. Quite frankly she would have taken a job anywhere if it meant she got to escape, this one just happened to be the one that came up first. Not that she didn't like it, she did, even if a lot of the people she met were serious government types. Ally had met Mark two months after moving to D.C. He had gorgeous blue eyes, sandy blonde hair, was incredibly cute and he was interested in her. Not knowing many people he quickly became the person that she spent most of her time with. All until six weeks ago when he had inexplicably decided that it wasn't working anymore and they had moved in too soon.

She was ashamed to admit that she hadn't taken the break up very well. She had begged him to reconsider. She couldn't understand what had happened. They were in love. That was when she'd been in the denial stage of their break up. She was firmly in acceptance now, although she was still clinging onto a tiny bit of the anger that had come before. However acceptance didn't necessarily mean that she had moved into the 'I'm completely over you and I'm happy and confident and have moved on and my life is just awesome without you' stage. Not that she would have to see him. He wouldn't come over. Why would he? He'd left her. And even if her did come over, there was no way that scary HYDRA guy would let him through the door.

* * *

He felt as though his control was slipping away by the second. He had patched up his body, popped his dislocating shoulder back in and removed the bullet, cleaned the wounds. The movement in his arm was easier now and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he could use it properly again. He was anxious to get back to full fitness. He felt vulnerable injured. He knew that he would be discovered eventually and he wanted to be able to fight off an attack when that happened.

Although at this rate he was going to be discovered sooner than even he would have thought possible. He had made a mistake in hiding in someone's residence. He would have been better taking his chances on the streets. He could at least have run away in that situation. He would still have had speed on his side. As it was he had trapped himself. This girl, this Allison, the woman on the phone has said, had seen his face and she knew he was HYDRA. It was simple what he was to do in this situation. There was one option. Only one outcome. It was in all of his basic training. No one was to ever see him. Until this last mission, he has worked in the shadows and the cover of darkness. No one was to know he existed. No one was to see his face. This girl had seen too much. All of his training, all of his instincts said that he should eliminate this girl. It should be easy. Just one more to add to his list.

Yet something was holding him back. He didn't know what it was. This was easy for him. It was what he did. But up on that heli- carrier he'd done the same. For the first time he'd hesitated and now he was doing the same again. He never hesitated and he didn't like it. He didn't like feeling unsure. Uncertain of himself, of his decisions and his actions. He needed to take back control of this situation. Usually he was given a mission and it was up to him to calculate the best plan and then execute it. All he needed was a mission. Then he would formulate the best plan and act upon it. For now his mission was to get out of this apartment and then get back to HYDRA base and find out what the hell was going on. The only decision he had to make was what he was going to do with his hostage.

* * *

 _A/N- Just a wee short chapter here. Kind of a filler chapter._

 _Anyway thanks again for reading. It's so cool seeing all the people from different countries that are reading this. Thanks again to the people who have favourited and followed. Really means a lot._

 _So thanks to my first ever reviewer **Kitxo** and your lovely comments. This is actually my second fanfic, the first was published on a different site. It is the first time I've not written in the first person which I'm finding hard but it's easier to show Bucky and Ally's differing perspectives. I'm glad you're enjoying the character of Ally. I've read a lot of Bucky/ OC fanfics that I loved, but I wanted to create a very normal girl. Not someone connected to the Avengers, not a doctor or psychologist, or someone with PTSD or someone he rescues so she's grateful to him. I wanted to create an ordinary girl who's thrown into a crazy situation. I wanted her to fall for him as he begins to remember who he is. At the moment he's The Winter Soldier, not Bucky. He's abrupt, he's cold and he won't have had a proper conversation with a person in a long time. I didn't want her to fall for him in the first few chapters. I wanted it to seem as real as possible and I know that if this scary assassin with a metal arm popped up in my life, I would want to run for the hills. Anyway thanks again for the review. It really made my day. _


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 _'_ _I may think of you softly from time to time. But I'll cut off my hand before I ever reach for you again.' – Arthur Miller_

He'd been quiet for some time. Just staring. Occasionally he would walk around the apartment and look out of the windows. Ally guessed he was checking to make sure that no one had found him. Every time he came back with that blank expression still on his face Ally couldn't help but feel disappointed, no one was coming to rescue her. She'd lost track of how long she had been in this chair, but she could hear the city spring into life below her and knew that it was well into the morning. She'd been here all night and couldn't really feel her back or her backside for that matter, but what she could definitely feel was the uncomfortable fullness of her bladder and the clenching of her stomach as it growled in hunger. She couldn't remember the last time she'd actually eaten. She guessed round about eleven the day before when she'd had an apple during the kids playtime, or recess as it was called here. That was before everything had kicked off and massive plane things had started falling out of the sky.

Her confidence, or her stupidity she guessed, depending which way you looked at it from, had evaporated. She had thought that she had seen a tiny glimmer of hope, something in his eyes that said maybe he wouldn't kill her. Yet since her mother's phone call it was if someone had pulled the shutters down and all traces of humanity were gone. That was why she had sat in silence for the last few hours instead of doing what she wanted, telling him what she really thought of him for a start.

But eventually she couldn't wait any longer or she was going to have something a lot worse than blood to clean up from her kitchen.

'Excuse me,' Ally asked, hoping he could hear her from whichever other room in her small apartment he had gone to. She repeated what she's said, a little louder the second time when she had no response from the first. She had just started to think he was going to ignore her when she heard the soft tread of his feet as he entered the room, stopping in the doorway. He didn't speak, just looked at her waiting.

'Could you untie me so I can go to the bathroom? Please' she added, hoping to persuade him by killing him with kindness. Ally held his gaze, feeling that he was assessing her as he made his decision. She forced herself to look back at him and not squirm under his gaze no matter how uncomfortable it was making her. A slight narrowing of his eyes was the only indication that he had even heard her but she breathed a sigh of relief when he eventually moved behind her and started to untie the bonds that kept her tied to the chair. She didn't even have time to rejoice in the freedom of her being able to move limbs before he grabbed her arm and hauled her out of the chair, pushing her in front of him towards the bathroom. When they reached the door he finally stopped but turned her around to face him.

'I can move faster than you, so don't even think about trying to run. You can't over power me. This apartment is fifty feet off the ground so jumping is not an option. You have one minute before I will break down the door. Understood?'

Ally swallowed deeply and could only nod her head in reply to him. In truth she hadn't even been thinking of escaping, she had just really needed to pee, but any thoughts that she may have had of escaping were quickly dispelled. She had no doubt that he was faster and stronger than she was and she really had no desire to have that powerful hand wrapped around her throat again. Unsure if he had already started the minute that he was giving her and not wanting to have him burst into the room when she was sitting on the loo which she had no doubt he would do, she scurried into the room as quickly as she could.

When Ally opened the bathroom door in what she assumed had been under a minute, she found him exactly where she expected him to be, right outside the door, where he had probably been the entire time allowing him to hear everything. Blushing slightly at the realisation she avoided his eyes as she muttered her thanks to him.

He raised his hand, ready to steer her back to her chair in the kitchen when her doorbell suddenly rang, causing him to push her up against the wall with his hand across her mouth before she even had time to react. Again. Every part of her wished that she could scream out to the person on the other side of that door to tell them what was happening to her, but she knew that it would never happen. That was until she heard the voice of the person on the other side of the door. Mark.

'Hey, Ally it's me,' came his voice from through the door, 'let me in.'

The man with his hand across her mouth looked down at her with hard, accusing eyes as if it were somehow her fault that her ex- boyfriend was at her door.

'Ally, come on. I know you're in there. Don't make me use my key.'

Ally felt the slight stiffening of the HYDRA agent at Mark's words and in one quick movement he produced a knife as if by magic and had it pressing sharply into her side.

'Get rid of him. And if you so much as breathe in a way I don't like, I will kill you both.'

From one look in his eyes and the firm press of the blade at her side Ally knew that he was telling the truth. She knew that he would have no hesitation in using that knife. He steered her towards the door and positioned himself so that he was behind the door and out of sight, but close enough to her that his knife still pressed into her side in warning. Taking a deep breath and preparing herself for the performance of her life, she reached up and unlatched the door, coming face to face with the one person that had the power to make her day worse. Psycho with a knife or her ex- boyfriend? She actually couldn't say which one of them worse.

'Finally,' Mark said when Ally opened the door, giving her one of his smiles that she had always loved. The smile that had made her feel special. Hell who was she kidding, it still did. 'Where have you been? You look like shit.'

And just like that she was back to reality and remembering all of the reasons why she did not want this man in her life. Despite the fact that Ally knew she looked like crap- she had been threatened, knocked out and tied to a chair all night- it was still a kick in the teeth to have it confirmed by the man that up until a few weeks ago she had loved. Of course he just happened to be standing in front of her looking annoyingly perfect as usual with his sharp, crisp grey suit, perfectly gelled sandy blonde hair with not one hair out of place and glowing tanned skinned. He looked like he had literally walked off of a magazine shoot. Ally had always felt that she wasn't good enough for the high- flying confident lawyer that everyone adored and she hadn't felt it quite so acutely until that moment. However when she winced at his word's it only pushed her more into the blade pressed against her and jolted her back into reality. She had more pressing issues to deal with than a blow to her pride.

Straightening her spine, raising herself against him, she spoke in a harsh tone that she had never once used with him. It sounded rather like what her family would call her teacher voice. 'In case you missed it, Mark, the city kind of fell apart yesterday and I had better things to do than to make sure that my hair looked perfect.' _Unlike you_. She let the unsaid words hang in the air for a moment as she looked pointedly at his own perfectly coiffed hair. 'What are you doing here Mark?' she asked eventually.

'Your mum phoned. She was worried about you. Asked me to check on you.'

'Well as much as I appreciate the effort, I'm fine. So job done.' Ally made a move to close the door, but was stopped when he reached a hand out to block her. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the cold glare telling her to hurry up, that her time was running out.

'It wasn't any trouble,' Mark said, leaning in closer to the door frame, so that Ally had to side step to block his movement. 'I still care about you Ally. I worry about you.' In normal circumstances Ally would have probably been completely thrown by that comment, despite the fact that she was 95% of the way to being over Mark, that 5% would probably have gone running right back to him. Was that pathetic? Definitely, but she couldn't deny that she missed him, or really just missed being with someone. She didn't have many friends in the city and she had been undeniably lonely since he had left. However these were not normal circumstances and all she wanted to do was to get rid of him. Rolling her eyes at his comment, she breathed in her frustration.

'I told you, I'm fine. You don't have any need to worry.'

'I did tell your mum that. I mean you work with children, it's hardly that important. My department on the other hand is having to deal with the fallout from all of this. I mean this is corruption at the highest level. To think we've been infiltrated for all of this time and no one noticed a metal armed assassin running around. I'll be working overtime for months.

'What are you talking about?' Ally asked despite her better judgement. She knew far too much about the man with the metal arm. More importantly his location beside her. She knew she shouldn't ask when said soldier had a knife to her side, which he was now definitely pressing more firmly into her side. She knew it would draw blood soon, but she had to know more and knew it could be her only chance.

Ally could see the satisfaction in his eyes that he had finally got her interested and talking to him. 'Haven't you been watching the news? Some super soldier assassin that Captain America took an ass kicking from. He's in the hospital you know, Captain America that is.'

Ally felt an icy chill come over and her knuckles were turning white from the force that she was using to grip onto the door and keep herself standing. She had known the man in her apartment was freakishly strong and had worked for HYDRA, but he had put Captain America- a flipping superhero with super strength, speed and healing, in the hospital. Whoever the hell he was, he was more than just dangerous. A point that was made when the knife at her side broke the skin and slipped into her flesh. Ally couldn't help the cry of pain that escaped her lips as the blade entered her side. She looked to her side to see that the assassin, as she now knew, was not looking at her like she thought he would be, but had a pained look in his eyes and a look of confusion on his face.

'Ally, what is it? Are you okay?' Mark asked, looking at her with concern.

'I'm fine,' she answered immediately, drawing her attention back to him whilst trying not to wince at the pain at her side and the blood that she could feel trickling down her side. 'I just caught my finger on something,' she lied.

'Anyway I'll be part of the team trying to root out what remains of these HYDRA traitors so I imagine I'll be pretty busy over the next few months.

'That's wonderful Mark, I'm happy for you,' she said without any real enthusiasm. 'Now if you don't mind, I'm really tired and I have things to do. Besides you've done what my mother asked. I'm fine. I'll tell her not to call you again and I'd appreciate it if you didn't come round here again. In fact, I'd like my key back.'

'I don't see why we can't be reasonable about this Ally,' Mark said with frustration written all over his face.

'The fact that you broke my heart is exactly why we can't be reasonable. You didn't want to be with me anymore, you made that decision, now I'm making mine. I don't want to be friends, I don't want you checking on me and I don't want you in my life anymore. Good bye Mark.'

Ally swung the door closed and locked it for good measure, really hoping that he would get the message and not come back. Although as the bolt swung into place and she breathed a sigh of relief that he had finally gone, it suddenly occurred to her that not only had she just locked Mark out, but she had just locked herself in, with an assassin.

She braced herself for him to launch himself at her and pin her against the wall or tie her to the chair again, but instead he stayed exactly where he was. Ally couldn't say what it was but something was happening to him. It was almost as if he had completely shut down. His brow was furrowed as if he was recalling something unpleasant and then he would close his eyes and give his head a small shake as if he could get rid of the image through sheer force of will. Ally would almost say he looked vulnerable, but then her gaze drifted to the blood tipped knife still gripped in his hand and she was instantly brought back to reality.

Ally was almost scared to move and draw his attention to her for fear of what he would do, so she slowly started to edge away from him. Just an inch or so at first, but when he didn't react to that she got bolder and started to take small steps until she eventually fled to the kitchen. Pulling up her shirt she examined the wound at her side. Luckily it was just a scratch and had already seemed to stop bleeding. She gave it a quick rinse with a damp cloth and covered it with a small bandage that he had left on her kitchen table from cleaning his own wounds.

She was just finishing up and pulling her shirt back down when she sensed it. That feeling that you're not alone. That feeling you get when you're being watched. She whipped around to find him standing at the door that was in the centre of the room separating her kitchen and living room. She knew he's been watching her, but he didn't offer any apology for what he's done. She didn't expect him to. She suspected he'd done a lot worse and her small wound wouldn't even register on the scale of the bad things that he'd done. Mark said that he was an assassin. She didn't even want to think of all the things he'd done. Although the words that he did eventually utter surprised her nearly as much as an apology would have.

'Who is Captain America?'

* * *

 _A/N- Thanks again to my lovely readers and the people who have favourited or followed the story. Also thanks to my reviewers. I'm really glad that you're enjoying the story. Yes Bucky Barnes does have a lovely face, lol, but I'm sure if anyone met him as The Winter Soldier that really wouldn't be your first thought. I hadn't really thought much about the character until Civil War and I just felt so sorry for him and wanted to give him a great big hug. It got me thinking about his character and what had happened to him between the two films and I looked at some Bucky/ OC fanfics and I just wanted to write a slightly different take on it. I'm trying to stay true to the film and really think about the mess that his head is in at the moment, so I'm glad you're enjoying it. It's quite hard to write such a messed up character and still have him seem likable or even relatable. Anyway thanks again for reading and if you are enjoying it then please leave a review or follow this story._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 _'_ _You don't have to have it all figured out to move forward…just take the next step.'_

He hadn't meant to hurt her. He didn't know what happened. The knife had been at her side and then he didn't remember what had happened.

Everything had happened so quickly. All he wanted was for that man to go. To leave. He had just kept rambling on, completely unaware that he was minutes from being very effectively silenced. A knife to the throat would have stopped him instantly. The man, Mark, wouldn't have even realised what had happened until he would have fallen to the ground with a hole in his side.

It was almost amusing to think that this man was part of the team that would be tracking him down and here he was bragging about it whilst being completely oblivious to the fact that his target was standing so close. It was reassuring to know this was the calibre of people hunting him. A government suit. But then he went and said that name and everything changed. 'Captain America'. The man in the blue suit. The one on the helicarrier. The man who said that he knew him. He didn't know how he knew that he was called Captain America, he just did. When the man at the door said that name, he suddenly had a picture of that man in his head. But not of fighting him, not of the images that he knew were real. Images, pictures, words flashed through his brain in quick succession. A handshake, a hug, laughing, falling, sharing a drink, looking over battle plans, together. One by one the images assaulted his brain until he could no longer deny the immense feeling that he had experienced earlier that day. That man, Captain America, he was telling the truth. He did know who he was. He had known him. Somehow. James Buchanan Barnes he'd said that his name was, but he still didn't feel that. It still didn't feel like it belonged to him. He didn't know who that person was.

His head was spinning. It felt like his own mind was assaulting him. Paralysing him. He pushed the images out of his head, forcing them away in the black box inside his head, burying it away. When he finally emerged back into the present, he found himself standing alone, holding a knife that was tipped with blood. Roughly he swiped the knife across his trousers and placed it back into the holster on his thigh before he went to find Allison, or Ally the man at the door said.

As he entered the room her back was to him, but he could see what she was doing, wiping away the blood from the cut at her side. For some reason his stomach twisted with an emotion that he hadn't felt in a long time, but he knew it to be guilt which was strange considering the amount of hurt and destruction that he had wielded throughout the years. He pushed the uncomfortable feeling away. Whatever the cause of it, he didn't have time to dwell on it just now. He was sure he would have to do far worse to people before this whole thing was over. Now was not the time to be developing a conscience.

Ally still hadn't realised that he was in the room. It was what he was good at. Hiding in the shadows. Remaining unseen. He knew that he had to stay focused. Keep his mind focused on the mission that he had set himself. He tried to convince himself that knowing more about Captain America would help him find out more about HYDRA, but deep down he knew that it would only help him to find out more about himself. He must have made some kind of noise as Ally whipped around, staring straight at him. He couldn't work out if she was terrified of him or furious with him but he didn't have the time to think about it as he blurted out the question that was going through his mind before he had the chance to stop himself. 'Who is Captain America?'

* * *

Was he for real? Ally actually couldn't help the small scoffing laugh that escaped. He had threatened her, imprisoned her, cut her and now he was attempting a conversation. 'Are you kidding? Everyone in the world knows who Captain America is.'

His face remained almost impassive. Almost. If Ally hadn't been watching him so closely then she wouldn't have noticed the almost imperceptible way that eyes drew together. Ally could feel the smile on her lips falter, the teasing moment gone. He was genuine in his question. His expression quickly told her that he was definitely not feeling her amusement.

'He's a superhero. He's an Avenger. A group of superheroes who've saved the world,' she added when he looked at her questioningly.

'Go on,' he said, wanting more information.

'I don't know. His real name is Steve. Steve Rogers. He appeared a few years ago. He was around in the war but ended up frozen in ice until some group exploring the Arctic found him. They did some sort of experiment on him in the war that makes him strong and fast. I don't really know much more than that.'

Ally was watching his face closely and saw the slight draw of his eyebrows at the mention of the name Steve Rogers. As if it was familiar to him. He sat in silence, processing her answer and Ally took the opportunity to watch him. She was definitely afraid of him, but there was something about him that just wasn't making any sense. This man had fought against Captain America, an all American hero, yet he didn't seem to have any idea who he was. Where had he been that he didn't know who Captain America was? He had been working with this HYDRA group who seemingly wanted to take over and control the world. He was evil, dangerous. And yet this super villain had spent the entire day pacing her apartment. Yes he had hurt her but he hadn't killed her. Why wasn't he killing her? It was something Ally should have probably been grateful for and yet she felt that if he was going to kill her she would rather he got on with it. Finally her curiosity got the better of her. She needed some answers. Steeling herself she finally asked the question that had been circling her head all day.

'What do you want from me?'

* * *

He stiffened when he heard her voice. What did he want from her? That was a question he couldn't answer. He knew what his goal was but what he didn't know was how this girl was involved. His original plan, well his revised plan, once he had been discovered was to use her apartment, sort out his injuries and then leave. However he knew that that wasn't a possibility anymore. This girl, she knew too much about him. She had seen his face, seen his arm and she knew that he worked for HYDRA. Her ex- boyfriend worked for the government and was part of a team trying to find and capture HYDRA agents. If he let her go free, how long would it be before he had every defence agent in the country on his tail? She was a threat to him. Looking at her she didn't look dangerous in any way. She was distinctly average. Average height, average build, yet he sensed that she was anything but average. When she looked at him, she had a way of making him feel uncomfortable, like she saw who he was. Exactly who he was. He could see in her eyes how much she judged him for what he did, for who he was. Fear in people's eyes was something he was used to. He had seen it far too many times before. Loathing was something much rarer. People generally didn't live long enough for him to see the loathing in their eyes. Fear was a natural and basic instinct, it was instant. Normally he ignored it. He was immune to the pleas of those around him, but this time the loathing thrown in his direction was weighing down heavily on his chest. It bothered him.

He quickly set aside his worries and focused on what he needed to. His mission. He needed to think clearly and get a plan together. If he wanted to find out who he was, he was going to have to work quickly. The government was tracking HYDRA agents. Trying to root out the traitors. How long would it be before they found the Federal Reserve Bank and destroyed all of the clues and evidence that he needed? Captain America and whatever link he had to him would have to wait. As for the girl… it went against every instinct that he had, but he would have to take her with him. His natural instinct was to kill her. Erase and eliminate all threats. That was his usual rule. But he just couldn't do it. He'd killed many times before, but they had been orders. Hits and targets that had been selected by someone else and he had faithfully carried out his orders. Until yesterday. That man on the helli-carrier made him doubt himself. Made him hesitate. He'd never killed on his own instruction before and he didn't think he could start with her. She was an innocent and no matter the danger, he couldn't seem to justify killing her.

He had no option, if he wouldn't kill her and he definitely couldn't leave her behind then she would have to come with him.

'Do you have a car?' he said finally.

'A what?' she repeated stupidly, clearly not expecting that response to her question. With a shake of her head when he didn't elaborate she answered, 'No, I don't have a car.'

He sighed in frustration. Why was nothing in the last 24 hours simple? He'd had complicated missions before, but never had he been on a mission where so many things had gone wrong. They couldn't walk around the city together. It was too obvious. That meant he would have to steal a car. Stealing a car was simple but driving a stolen car would attract attention that he didn't need.

'Pack a bag. Take only essentials. Comfy clothes, dark colours, no logos or patterns. '

'What, I…, I don't understand.'

'You're coming with me.'

'What? Why? You could just leave me here. I wouldn't tell anyone. Please, you can even tie me to the chair again. Just please leave me alone.'

He contemplated her request for all of ten seconds before giving her a short shake of the head. He wished he could leave her behind. He barely even knew what he was doing. Having the responsibility of someone else on his shoulders was not something he could deal with just now. He'd never had a problem killing before, yet now he didn't seem able to do it. What was one more well aimed bullet out of the many he had fired in his lifetime. It would make everything so much easier and yet he couldn't pull that trigger. Her request to be left behind was appealing, but how long would it be before she phoned the police? He would have people on his tail within the hour. Worst case scenario HYDRA killed her as a witness and then came after him. He could tie her up, but from the looks of it she had no family close by, no boyfriend and no close friends. If he left her alone and tied up would someone actually find her in time? That left only one option. She would have to come with him, at least until he left the city.

* * *

 _A/N- Thanks again to everyone who has taken the time to read this chapter. It means a lot. I hope it doesn't seem too slow just now, I'm just trying to build things up and make them seem as realistic and plausible as possible. Anyway remember to follow or favourite this story so you get alerts for a new chapter. Hopefully I won't keep you waiting too long._

 _Also thanks to Sareeta for your review. Seriously don't underestimate the value of a review. It seriously made my day and gives me a massive confidence boost. It's quite daunting posting your words and thoughts and an idea that you had in your head, so it means a lot to know that you are enjoying it. : )_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

 _'Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.' – Josephine Hart_

 _A/N- My longest chapter so far so I hope you enjoy. The scenes in this chapter are taken from 'The Winter Soldier' movie. I'm sure everyone reading will know that already, but just making it clear that it's not my work._

He was in foreign territory and he didn't like it. He didn't associate with civilians let alone go on missions with them. All of his missions were planned to the finest detail. The location would be scoped out, he would know who the enemy was and nine times out of ten he would know the exact situation that he was walking into. This time he was woefully unprepared. He had run through what he knew about the mission for the majority of the day. He knew the layout of the Federal Bank. He knew the best entrance, he knew the exits and he knew where the information he was looking for would be. That was his only advantage. What he didn't know was how many hostiles would be in the building, would they be armed and how heavily. He could win a fight outnumbered, but even he wasn't infallible. A well-aimed bullet to the skull would kill him, enhanced healing or not. Not to mention the massive disadvantage of walking into enemy territory with an untrained, unarmed civilian.

He glanced over at her whilst driving the car that he had stolen and almost wished he hadn't. The fact that she didn't want to be there was obvious. If he was being honest he didn't particularly want her there either. He couldn't tell if she was angry at him or scared of him. She sat in the passenger seat of the car and had angled her body away from him practically pressing herself against the door, keeping maximum distance between them. The feeling that she was afraid of him, didn't sit well with him. But he didn't allow himself to dwell on it. He had to stay focused on what lay ahead. Once he'd seen what was inside the Federal Bank and the place where they had held him for the last few days he would have a better idea of his next step. For now all he had to focus on was getting into the bank, getting the information he needed and getting them both out alive. If he'd had any other choice he would have left her behind but he couldn't risk any lose ends. He was already looking over his shoulder, he didn't need another reason to watch his back.

He parked a block away from the Federal Reserve Bank, close enough that they could return to it if needed but not so close that it would draw attention. He got out of the car and told her to do the same. She sat in the car unmoving and for a moment he thought he would have to drag her out of the car by force, but when she finally emerged, slamming the door behind her he knew that even if she was afraid, her anger was prevailing. After sitting in silence and blindly following his instructions for the entire day she finally seemed to have found her voice.

'Where are we?' she asked, folding her arms in front of her. He knew she was trying to appear confident but the slight wobble in her voice betrayed her. 'Why have you brought me here?'

He couldn't stop the frustration from showing on his usually impassive features. Of all the times to start a conversation, the second before entering hostile territory was not the time. If there was anyone still in the building then they were presenting themselves as a wide open target.

'Keep moving,' he ordered her, wanting to get inside the building as quickly as possible.

'No,' she said more confidently. 'Not until you tell me where we're going? If you're going to kill me then just do it. Let's stop with the games and get it over with.'

In two short strides he grabbed her by the arm and hauled her from the open space to the relative safety at the side of the building. He didn't even care that he was hurting her or scaring her. For the first time that he could remember he was trying to do the right thing and he wasn't going to let her get them both killed. He was done trying not to scare her. Maybe she needed to know the reality of the situation.

He leaned in close to her, trying to intimidate her with his size. 'I am trying not to kill you right now,' he said, towering over her, watching as she gulped in fear and her eyes turned warily to his metallic arms which flexed automatically. 'Believe me killing you would make this situation ten times easier for me. You can't even begin to understand the danger that you are in.'

'More danger than being with you?' she scoffed doubtingly, clearly not believing him.

'Yes,' he stated blunted. 'Believe me when I say that I am not the worst thing out there.'

He watched as she processed what he said, her eyes automatically scanning the empty shadows around them, as if his words would somehow conjure these unknown threats. She considered his words and he could see as her mind tried to find a way out of the situation. 'But you could let me go,' she said pleadingly. 'Please, I won't tell anyone. I don't even know who you are.'

He couldn't let her go. He couldn't even contemplate it. Yet something about the tears filling her eyes made him squirm. He shook off the feeling and forced himself back into reality. 'You've seen my face and that's enough.'

'But I swear I won't tell anyone.'

'I can't take that chance. You got caught up in this situation and I'm trying to get us both through this alive. You want the reality, here it is. There are people who will be coming after me and if they know that you even know that I exist, that you've seen me, that you've spoken to me they will not hesitate to kill you but not before they've tortured you just to make sure you don't have valuable information.'

He felt a thrill at seeing the fear enter her eyes again. Good. She should be afraid. She needed to know what they were facing. 'I can't let you go because I can't trust that you won't tell anyone that you've seen me because that puts both of us in danger. I could have tied you up in your flat and left you there but you live alone and you have no family or friends in this country. How long do you think it would be before someone found you? You might not like it, you might not understand it, but right now you will do as I say because I am not going to let anything happen to ruin this mission. Do you understand?'

* * *

Ally just stared at him in muted shock. Two thoughts occurred her to her in quick succession. First he was afraid. She hadn't noticed that before, maybe because he hadn't spoken much before but she had seen the glimpse of it in his eyes. This 6 foot plus giant who was as strong as steel, had a literal metal arm and who had beaten Captain America in a fight was afraid. She couldn't even begin to understand who or what would make such a man fearful, but whoever it was, he seemed to think that she was now in danger from them.

It was a strange feeling. Knowing that you were at risk of being killed by a secret organisation. Yet Ally didn't feel the fear that she knew she probably should. Perhaps it was because the whole situation still seemed completely surreal that her brain refused to process it properly or maybe it was because this supposed threat was so distant from her that she didn't fully appreciate the danger. She honestly didn't see how anyone could be more dangerous than the man in front of her and yet for some reason he seemed to be trying to keep her alive. She might not understand it, but if he was willing to keep her alive, then she wouldn't argue with him just now. If she ran now then he would quite easily catch up with her and who knows what he would do then. But the second that he turned his back on her, the minute his watchfulness waned, she would make her escape and free herself from this situation. She just had to be patient and smart and wait for the right moment.

Secondly was a thought that probably shouldn't be in her head at that particular moment, yet she couldn't help it. He had basically implied that the reason she was in this predicament, being kidnapped by a killer and chased by an evil organisation was because she was alone and he was sure that she would die alone and be found in six months time only because the neighbours had complained of the smell and would break the door down to find her a mere skeleton still tied to chair having been eaten by a stray cat. It was a lovely thought and only a little bit insulting.

When the intense feeling of wanting to hit him had passed she realised that he was still waiting for a response so she gave a quick nod, not wanting to do or say anything that would make him change his mind. He seemed to be placated with that and turned towards the building beside them, pulling out a handgun and heading for the door.

The building they entered was dark. Empty. The unique musty smell that seemed to belong to disused buildings hung in the hair. It didn't take long for Ally to realise that he had been here before. It felt like no one had been in there for a long time. Yet he knew every turn without ever stopping or hesitating. He had been here before and recently. She followed behind him as he walked with his gun outstretched, scouting out every crevice, every doorway and every corner. It was so like something out a movie that Ally had to keep herself from laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. The further they progressed into the building Ally began to recognise the building as a bank. Surely he wouldn't have brought her along just so that he could rob a bank?

Yet the bank was empty. Every room that they passed had broken furniture or paper strewn all over the floor. There was nothing here that he could rob. The place was completely empty. It was deadly silent. The only sound that she could hear were her own footsteps. The man in front of her moved like a cat, his feet making no sound at all. She could almost admire the grace in his movements if she wasn't so aware of their deadly purpose. Yet what was that purpose? What were they doing here?

She knew that now was not the time to ask questions. She had to make him think that she was complying. That she wasn't a threat to him so for now all she could do was follow him into the increasing darkness of the building. Not to mention that she was she was actually terrified. She had never liked creepy old buildings and this one was no exception, especially knowing that there were real threats that could be lurking in the shadows. Her heart was hammering in her chest by the time they started descending a flight of stairs- into what she guessed would be the vault. She had stayed close behind him the whole journey, fully expecting this mysterious threat he was afraid of to jump out and attack at any moment. When she let out a small scream and jumped as a cobweb brushed against her arm, he turned around and glared at her, giving her the full force of his ice cold gaze. She couldn't help but colour slightly under his glare and muttered a small 'sorry' before continuing to follow him down the stairs.

He paused in front of her when they reached the bottom of the stairs and he held up a hand to signal to him to stop. Ally peered around his shoulder to see a long corridor with numerous barred gates. The corridor seemed never ending with each set of barred gates bigger and stronger than the ones before. Ally felt as if she were walking into a prison with every gate that she passed through.

Inside the vault was dimly lit, but there was just enough light inside to make out the vault of the bank wasn't as empty as the rest of the building seemed to be. The deposit boxes were empty and half of them were lying open. Whatever they were here for, it definitely wasn't for stealing money. Although what it was that he wanted, Ally couldn't guess. The room was virtually empty. There were a few computers, some empty boxes, paper scattered all over the floor and a strange contraption in the middle of the room.

The soldier stood for a moment surveying the room, his eyes glancing scanning around the area. Ally was surprised when he holstered his gun and went over to the computers. Ally stood by the entrance feeling unsure of what she was meant to do. She didn't know what he was looking for or even what all of this stuff was. He let out a grunt of frustration, slamming his hand on the desk causing Ally to jump at the sudden noise. He stalked to the other side of the room and started rifling through papers. Some he threw away, but others he kept by his side.

After watching him for a couple of minutes, Ally's curiosity got the better of her and she moved to the middle of the room to get a closer look at the odd looking machine. It was a seat of sorts but with arm and leg restraints. It reminded her of torture chair she had seen in an old castle back home, yet this was one made of pure metal. Except it was strange. Up near the head there were metal silver arms with strange metal plates and wires attached. She couldn't even begin to imagine what it was meant to be for. Her eyes traced the wires which were attached to different computers. Ally wasn't a nurse or a doctor so she had no idea what all the numbers on some of the screens meant, but it wasn't hard to make out the picture of a brain scan on one of the screens and the outline of a person on another. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion. If this machine was some sort of medical equipment, why was it being stored in a bank vault. Who was it possibly for?

She gave a quick glance over to the soldier who was still preoccupied with looking through the piles of paper scattered about on the floor. He didn't even seem to have noticed that she had moved from the doorway. Taking her opportunity to look for more clues whilst he was preoccupied, she went over to the computer screens that he looked at when he first game into the room. Most of the screens showed the same message 'files deleted' and she understood why he had been so angry before. Any information that was there was gone. Feeling some of the same frustration that he had that she wouldn't be able to get any information she looked around to see what other clues she could get. There wasn't much in the room, but something did catch her eye. One of the computer screens was different. When she got closer she was surprised to see that it wasn't a computer screen, but a security camera with a split feed, one of which was for the room. Again that was strange. Surely if they wanted to monitor something, they would be monitoring what was outside the room. She watched herself on the screen as she leaned closer to examine the controls and the buttons while all the while keeping an eye on the man who was still at the opposite side of the room.

It took her a minute, but she eventually found the controls for the screen and set it to rewind. She watched back as they entered the room and then for a long time there was nothing but the empty room. She sped up the rewinding until the shot finally changed. She watched in reverse as people packed up the room that they were standing in, removing weapons, files and deleting whatever had been on the computers. They seemed to be in a hurry as she watched one man drop a file, hesitate for a moment and then decide to leave it behind. For whatever reason, they wanted out of there quickly.

When the room was empty again she rewound further. Her whole body was teeming with excitement and nervousness. She always loved solving problems and puzzles and she felt that she was about to get some answers. When people finally came back into the frame she jumped and quickly fumbled trying to play the feed again and stop it from rewinding. She'd gone back further on the recording than she meant to but it didn't matter. She'd found what she needed. She let out a gasp when she recognised the man across the room from her on the screen. Although the picture was in black and white and a little grainy, she couldn't fail to recognise the metal arm.

He was sitting in the chair that had interested and intrigued her so much. The room was full of people with some soldiers and what she assumed were doctors because of the white lab coats all milling around doing various jobs. Somebody was fixing the metallic arm, the bright flames and electric sparks glowing on the screen. Not that he seemed to notice. He was sitting in the chair, his long hair hanging around his face, but she could just make out his eyes. They were unfocused. Unseeing. Troubled. Suddenly, as if someone had just pressed an on switch, his face changed, his body twitched and in the mere blink of an eye he retracted his arm and then flung it out, sending the technician working on his arm flying half way across the room. It happened so suddenly and caught Ally off guard she couldn't help the shocked gasp that escaped her lips as she brought her hand up in surprise. She knew he was strong. She had felt that arm wrapped around her, crushing her. She knew he was dangerous, but she never for a minute that he would have the ability to send a man flying across the room like he was just swatting a fly.

When she refocused on the screen she watched as a man in a suit came into the room. You could tell he was important from the way everyone immediately straightened and lowered their guns on his command. He approached the man in the chair without any fear at all. This man was old, nothing special and certainly not strong and yet he wasn't afraid of that strong metal arm and what it could do. Ally was even more shocked when he slapped him across the face, sending his head flying to the side. Ally sat waiting for that metal arm to fly out again. For the retaliation. Yet it didn't come. He just sat there and accepted being hit, like he was somehow used to it. Ally suddenly realised why the older man wasn't afraid. He had probably done that hundreds of times before and knew that he could do it. He knew that he could assault the soldier and he wouldn't respond. For the first time Ally felt a small glimmer of sympathy towards him. Nobody deserved that.

They exchanged a few words, but even if Ally had been able to read lips the screen was far too small to be able to see their mouths clearly. Suddenly the conversation seemed to be over and the man in the chair leaned back and opened his mouth as someone put a guard into his mouth. Next the arm and leg restraints closed in around him and the chair tipped back as something clamped around his head obscuring part of his face. Ally was sure that she was breathing just as heavily as he seemed to be sitting on that chair. He seemed to know what was about to happen to him. He was afraid. She was afraid for him for she could guess what was about to happen. She knew that she shouldn't be watching this. She felt sick with what she was seeing. She knew that what was about to happen wouldn't be pleasant and yet she couldn't seem to tear her eyes away.

She watched in sheer horror as the man in the chair began to writhe in pain. His whole body went stiff as he arched away from the chair. His mouth was open, screaming in pain. A scream that although Ally couldn't hear it, she could imagine from the pain that was expressed in every tendon and vein in his shaking body.

She hit the stop button on the screen, unable to watch anymore. How could people do that to one another? She still didn't understand what they were doing. Her first instincts that it was a torture chair seemed to have been proven right. Were they torturing him into compliance? To make sure that he did whatever they wanted? Was that why he hadn't fought back. She almost thought about asking him when the screen in front of her jumped back to its live feed, showing the room as it was in that moment. Showing her standing in front of the computer screen and the soldier, dressed all in black, standing behind her with a thunderous look on his face.

* * *

 _A/N- Thanks again for everyone reviewing and following. I really appreciate it. The story is starting to get a little more exciting now and I hope you enjoy where it's going. Anyway, please keep reading and leaving me comments. I really love reading them._

 _To emilia, thanks for the review. Yeah I wanted it to be very reluctant between the two of them initially. He hasn't had to trust anyone in a very long time. He's better on his own, so I needed it to seem realistic why he would end up having to take her with him. I didn't want him to seem too mean and I didn't want her to just fall in love with him at first sight._

 _To Kitxo, thanks for another great review. I feel I may have backed myself into a corner with Mark. Not really sure what to do with him now. I had wanted to write an ordinary girl with no connections to SHIELD, HYDRA or the Avengers but it just seemed to fit. He had about a million different versions before I settled on this one. Including a version where Bucky killed Mark and had to take Ally with him as she was a witness, but I figured that might be too hard to come back from. So he just accidentally stabs her instead. Much more forgivable. I'll need to see where the story goes and see how Mark can fit into it again or if he'll just disappear. Hopefully we might see him again._

 _To Sapphire12985, thanks for taking the time to review and for following this story. Yeah he's trying so hard not to hurt her. After what happened with Steve and realising that he's not who he thought he was, he'd tired of fighting and killing people. He doesn't want to do that anymore. Although at this point he's desperate and fighting for his survival and even though he's trying to be better, he's got a lot of demons to work through. Hope you enjoy following Bucky's journey._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 _'How do you run away from things that are in your head?'_

Ally cursed herself for her own stupidity. Why couldn't she just have stayed at the entrance to the vault and stayed out of the way? Why did she have to interfere?

Facing the inevitable and knowing she couldn't put it off for any longer she turned around slowly to face him, with her eyes she tried to convey just how sorry she was. Sorry that she had moved, sorry that she had interfered and most of all sorry for what had happened to him. But when she looked up at him, he wasn't even looking at her. His eyes were fixed onto the computer screen behind her, giving her a chance to study them without being noticed. His jaw was clenching and unclenching repeatedly and she could see the steady rise and fall of his chest as he struggled to contain whatever emotions he was feeling. His eyes however, his eyes which were usually closed off and empty of all feeling, were open like flood gates, showing every emotion that he was feeling as he stared fixedly at the screen behind her. His eyes were wide and confused. He looked like he was about to be sick and his eyes glistened with emotion. He looked lost.

Ally could feel herself wanting to reach and comfort him. That was until those soft, glistening eyes turned hard and dark before they slowly swivelled to glare at her. She instinctively recoiled, stepping back as far as she could,desperate to be out of his reach but she was blocked by the table behind her. She was trapped, caged in by his predatory stare. 'I'm… I'm sorry,' she managed to choke out, holding her hands out both as an apology and as some sort of defence. Hands which immediately moved to cover and protect her head as she saw him pull his metal arm behind him, his fist clenched and ready to strike. She had seen what that arm could do. Knew exactly the damage it could inflict. Yet it was instinctive. She ducked in fear and squealed as she felt the movement in the air around her and she braced herself for the blow that was sure to come. But it never did. Instead she heard the smashing of glass and clattering as the screens behind her were pulverised by metal and swept to the floor. Glancing up from her crouched position she saw him turn his attention to the chair in the middle of the room.

He was wild. Untamed. Metal and flesh tore and bent the metal chair into pieces, smashing, bending and breaking the pieces before throwing them across the room. As if each piece that he broke and tore could ease the pain the he felt. Could wipe away the memories of torture. All Ally could do was watch. Only once in her life had she felt that sort of rage. She'd had an argument with her mother, hardly an unusual occurrence, although this time had been different. Ten years later she couldn't remember exactly what the argument had been about but she still remembered the feelings. She'd yelled at her mother told her that she hated her, then gone to room, slammed the door behind her and unleashed her anger on her possessions. She had thrown a picture frame against the wall, smashing it but it wasn't enough. She took the photograph and scrunched it up before ripping it into pieces. An ornament her mum had given her was thrown across the room. She had been beyond reason. Breaking, tearing and throwing everything that came within her reach. When it was over and she'd looked around at the mess that she'd made she felt overwhelming shame and stupidity.

There was no point in trying to stop him. Not only would it result in her getting hurt, probably thrown across the room along with a computer screen but it was also pointless. It would only make him angrier. As a teacher she'd seen enough children having tantrums to know that they had to come out of it on their own. Feeding into would only make it worse. Not that it made it any easier to watch. She stood cowering in the corner of the room, occasionally dodging debris that would come flying in her direction. Not that it was deliberately aimed at her. She knew that he wasn't seeing anything other than that chair in that moment.

When the chair was completely destroyed, a mangled carcass in the centre of the room, he finally stopped. His back was turned to Ally but she could see him breathing hard, his shoulders rapidly rising and falling and as he fought to gain back the control that he had lost. Somehow she knew that he wouldn't be feeling the remorse that she felt after her tantrum.

As quickly as it had come, it was over. His back straightened, his head lifted and his ice- cold mask was back in place. He went over to where he had left the pile of papers that he wanted to take with him. Picking them up with his metallic hand as the other arm was cut and torn and dripping with blood from where he had cut himself on the chair. He didn't even seem to notice. Striding past her to the door he simply said 'we're done here,' which Ally assumed meant that she was follow to him.

* * *

He didn't fully remember the drive back to Ally's apartment. His body and his mind were still teaming with rage. He knew he couldn't remember. He knew he hadn't been able to remember for a long time. What he hadn't known was why he didn't remember. He hadn't questioned it. It wasn't his job to question things. He followed his orders and he did what he was told. Yet it felt like he had known what they had done to him. Had he always known? Had it existed inside his head, buried deep and dark inside? Just out of his reach. When he had seen the chair in the middle of that room, he had felt a slight twinge of unease that he hadn't been able to place. He remembered waking up in it, feeling tired, exhausted and confused and strangely, always with the feeling like it had happened before. When he saw that video, just one second of that video and it was like a switch had been flicked in his brain. He remembered. He remembered the claustrophobia, the feeling of being held down, but most of all he remembered the excruciating, all-encompassing pain. And not just once. He remembered at least a dozen different rooms, a dozen faces peering down at him before his world went fuzzy and dark.

His head ached as his mind assaulted him with short bursts of images and sounds, each one a glimmer of a memory, each one bringing the reminder of pain. His body twitched and tensed, reliving the sensations that were running through his head. He wasn't sure how he drove that car back to the apartment but somehow he did. His training allowing him to remember and retrace routes easily. He hadn't intended to go back to that apartment, but he wasn't ready to leave this city yet. He needed more answers first. Her apartment was safe. No one would be looking for him there. He just needed some time to look through the documents that he had found and work out his next steps. He had to find out who had taken his memories and why.

* * *

She could have run from him. She knew that now. Yet at the time she had still been terrified. She had been so sure that his rage would turn to her next. When he stalked out of the room without even looking at her, it hadn't even occurred to her not to follow him. She had just seen what he could do when he was angry and she really didn't want that anger directed at her. He had been in that building before. If she had run from him, hid from him, how long would be before he had found her? He knew the building. He knew every twist and turn reflexively, never hesitating once. And so she did the only thing that she could do and followed him. Not that he seemed to even notice that she was there. Not once did he glance around to check on her.

Eventually they exited the bank, emerging into the deserted back alley. The light had all but faded keeping the soldiers face firmly in the shadows. However it only made the brightness of the main streets seem more alluring, like a beacon calling to her to safety. She knew that all she would have to do was run and she would make it. She could stop a passing driver or maybe there would be someone in the street who could help her. He had said he didn't want people to see his face. That he didn't want people to know about him. If she could just make it to the safety of the street then she knew he wouldn't be able to follow. She could be safe. She could be free. She just had to be brave.

Although being brave was easy to say, but harder to actually achieve. Ally's heart was hammering inside her chest. Her gaze switched between the soldier who was walking to the car, his back still facing her and the street that she longed for. Bracing herself she prepared to run. She took in a deep breath and had moved forward barely a millimetre when he spoke two words, 'get in'. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. Whether by sheer bad luck and coincidence or some unknown super power of intuition that he possessed, she knew it was over. She'd missed her chance.

She spent the car journey wistfully looking out of the window, hoping at every moment that someone would see her face and somehow know that she would need help. But no one so much as looked in their direction. She didn't know where they were going. Giving up hope, she slouched back in the seat, resigning herself to her fate, so she was even more astonished when they parked in a place that she knew all too well. Her home. Her heart leapt in the hope that he might be taking her home and letting her go. They'd had a fun day out, exploring a deserted bank, taking a few documents and taking a walk down memory lane and now it was time to part ways and she could get on with her life.

Of course Ally realised that she should stop getting her hopes up. She'd always been a bit of an optimist. She couldn't help herself. She might have been slightly sarcastic, occasionally stroppy and at least out loud a realist. But she had been raised on a steady diet of Disney films and fairy tales and in her heart she was an optimist. Always believing that things would work out for the best and always believing that things would work out for the best. Although she was quickly beginning to think that in this case she was wrong. There wasn't going to be a happy ending.

* * *

 _Thanks again to everyone for continuing to read this and for following and reviewing. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please let me know what you think. P.S. I'm answering reviews on her because I want to give feedback but don't want to do private messaging. On the first day I got some interesting messages so I turned that off and I'll answer any questions here._

 _\- Thanks again for reviewing. Yeah I know it maybe wasn't the brightest thing to do, but curiosity gets the best of all of us at times. Plus she didn't know what she about to watch before she pressed play. Oh he is definitely not stable at the moment. His head is so confused right now. The only thing he knows about himself is that he is a killer and yet he feels that there is more to him than even he knows. I vaguely remember an interview I read by Sebastian Stan and he said he's done a lot of research on memory loss and dementia sufferers and he said that they can lash out, be aggressive, frustrated but also confused and emotional and he tried to put that into his performance. So I guess I'm trying to show just how confused he is feeling. He's definitely a threat to Ally and everyone else around him which he knows, but at the same time he knows that he's put her in danger by giving her a connection to him. At the same time she could easily turn in him. HYDRA aren't sure if he's alive or his mental state and he doesn't want them to know so by keeping her with him he's protecting himself too. I hope you're enjoying this and keep reviewing._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 _'Hell is empty and all the devils are here.'-William Shakespeare_

Your home is meant to be a safe place, a sanctuary. It's the one place where you don't need to pretend to be anything or put on a show. You shut the door and lock out the dangers of the world. For Ally that wasn't the case. She had shut the door and locked it behind her. Only she wasn't locking the dangers out, she was locking them inside, trapping herself inside.

The solider had headed straight to the kitchen table, swiping the bloodied bandages that he left there earlier, to the floor and spread the files and documents that he had taken from the bank out on the table. Ally stood by the door watching him. It was stupid and the least of her priorities, but the main thought that came into her head was 'how rude!' But he seemed to have completely forgotten all about her. Or if he remembered her then he certainly didn't care what she did or what she was thinking about his manners.

She waited for a moment, wondering if he was going to tie her to a chair again but he seemed completely focused on what he was doing. Ally wasn't sure what to do. She stood awkwardly in the doorway not wanting to draw attention to herself. The longer she stood there the more the adrenaline from the adventure wore off her body and she became aware of two things. First how hungry she was and secondly how tired she was. She hadn't eaten in over twenty four hours and she had been surviving on a diet of adrenaline and fear that had now worn off. Too exhausted to care what he said she went to her kitchen and boiled some pasta. She needed something quick and easy as the fatigue was beginning to take over. She drained the pasta before adding in some tomato stirring sauce. Dishing up she realised that once again she had made too much. It was one of those things with pasta, you either didn't make enough or you made enough to feed the entire street. She would maybe question it later, but she was so tired that she couldn't be bothered arguing with herself. She got two plates out of the cupboard and served up two plates of pasta. Lifting one she took it with her to her bedroom leaving the other for the soldier. Her mother had always taught her never to waste food and if she wanted to get through this alive, then she had to stay on the soldier's good side. He had to see that she wasn't a threat. That she wouldn't run away. Not until it was too late to stop her.

* * *

The second she opened her eyes she remembered. Exhaustion had pulled her into a dreamless sleep but waking plunged her back into the nightmare of her reality. Her apartment was silent but she didn't dare to hope that he had left her in peace. She knew he moved like a cat, like a silent wraith creeping around in the shadows.

Slowly Ally crept out of her bed and immediately cringed at the creaking of a floorboard the second her foot touched the cold, wooden floor. The noise was a small creak, yet in the deathly silence of her apartment it rang out as loudly as a dropped hammer.

Still wearing her pyjamas she tiptoed to her bedroom door, opening it slowly and peeking her head around the open crack. Her apartment was quiet and still, but she could sense that he would still be here. She wasn't sure what it was, whether it was some sort of intuition, some primal instinct of danger but she felt that prickle of awareness on the back of her neck.

Ally crept along the still dark corridor. She had no idea what time it was but she knew that it must be early. She didn't know what she expected him to be doing. Pacing the room, watching for potential dangers out of the windows or perhaps even sharpening some of his many knives. Who knew what crazy killers did in their down time? What she hadn't expected was to see him sitting in the middle of her living room floor surrounded by all the papers and documents that he had taken the day before with his head hung forward in his hands. His lank hair hung limply concealing his face. He was still every inch the predatory killer, the dull gleam from his metallic arm was a constant reminder of how dangerous he truly was and yet there was something strangely vulnerable about him. Ally knew he was dangerous and she was definitely still afraid of him, but a part of her couldn't help but feel sorry for him. There was something about him. Something that she couldn't put her finger on. He was definitely one of the bad guys, these HYDRA people and yet they had tortured him. Subjected him to excruciating pain. Then there were the questions he asked. He didn't know who Captain America was when everyone in the world knew who he was. Ally wasn't an expert but she was sure that there was more to him than just a HYDRA agent who was on the run, trying not to get captured. He was after something. She just didn't know what that was or how she fit into it all.

Not wanting to startle him and find herself pinned against a wall or with a knife pressed into her side again, she kept her distance from him by heading to the kitchen area of her open plan living room. Ally was surprised when she saw that he had eaten the pasta that she had made the night before. Although even crazy assassins had to eat some time she supposed.

Ally set about making breakfast, buttering herself some toast and making herself a cup of tea. When she'd finished the last gulp of tea, she finally felt ready to face the day and so she chanced a glance in his direction. He hadn't moved from his position on the floor but he no longer sat with his head in his hands.

Keeping up the pretence that she would go along with him, or at least not cause him any problems she decided to make some toast for him. Besides she wasn't going to be afraid in her own home.

She went over to the living room coffee table and sat the toast down near him before going to sit in the line arm chair. It wasn't a coincidence that it was the seat that was the furthest away from him. She might be trying to act tough but she wasn't stupid. Who knew what mood he would be in this morning? She would stay out of his firing line until she knew.

They sat for a moment in silence, her trying to watch him out of the corner of her eye and him not even acknowledging her presence. Deciding that enough was enough and with her curiosity getting the better of her Ally reached out and pushed the toast towards him. 'That's for you, if you want it,' she said.

He looked up at her from behind his hair, his clear blue eyes staring directly at her, startling with her with their intensity. He broke away first, returning to staring at the papers on the floor, leaving Ally trying to decipher the confused emotions in his eyes.

'I guess not,' Ally said eventually, leaning back into the comfort of the armchair. Getting frustrated with the silence and complete lack of communication from the soldier she finally asked the question that she had been wanting to ask since they had left the bank the day before.

'So did you find what you were looking for?'

She gestured to the papers when his blank gaze met hers again. He considered her question for only a brief moment before his face closed off again and Ally knew that he wasn't going to tell her anything. 'Fine,' she said, knowing full well she was sounding petty as she slumped back into the chair and folded her arms in annoyance.

They say in silence again for a while, the awkwardness growing again. Eventually he gathered the papers into a neat pile and stood up. Ally had been doing her best to look disinterested by not watching him so she was stunned when two legs appeared in front of her. She glanced up from the legs to find a photo being held in front of her with the image of a very familiar man.

'Tell me what you know about this man,' he said softly, quietly, although with a definite tone of command.

The picture was of Steve Rogers. Not as Captain America, but in regular clothing. It wasn't a portrait shot, it looked like a surveillance shot, like he hadn't known the picture was being taken.

'I told you everything I know before,' she replied. She really didn't know what else he wanted to know. Ally admired Captain America like everyone else in the world. How many times had he saved the world? And yes she looked forward to the regular gym videos he did for school kids encouraging them to exercise as much as every other teacher. I mean who didn't? A pair of bulging biceps in a tight white t-shirt helped to brighten up anyone's day. Some of the teachers had even put up one of the posters of him on the staff room notice board. For motivation they said when they were on one of their many diets. It was him in his full Captain America suit which if Ally was being completely honest she thought looked a bit silly. She could understand Thor's outfit, he came from another planet so he had an excuse, Iron Man, well the suit was a weapon and Tony Stark was a billionaire show off, so he somehow got away with it. Captain America's suit was okay in itself, it was the silly helmet and the red boots that were just a little bit much, but then again when she was having a bad day in the class and went into the staff room and saw his posters up, she would take what she could get. Whatever information he had wanted, she was quite sure it wasn't her opinions on his fashion sense.

'You must know something else,' he said frustration appearing on his features.

'I don't,' Ally said, immediately sensing danger in his change of mood. She wished she could tell him everything that he wanted to know. She was sure that most Americans would be able to recall every fact of his life and involvement in the war. It was part of the school curriculum here, but then she wasn't American. Her school education had focused on Britain's involvement in the war. 'I have a laptop,' she offered, feeling that she needed to give him something. 'You could google him. I'm sure you could find all of the information that you need there.'

'No. They'll be watching the internet. They'll be able to trace a search like that.'

Having a sudden blast of inspiration Ally fumbled around trying to find her TV remote. It had a bad habit of ending up down the side of her sofa. Pulling it out she turned her tele on and put it on one of the news channels. Even now, the news was still focused on the events of two day ago. Not that Ally had had the opportunity to see the news in the last two days. She watched just as avidly as he did when they showed pictures of the destruction, announcing the death toll and discussing the leaking of many government documents about this HYDRA group. Watching his reactions as they showed pictures of Steve Rogers and the masked man who was still missing, presumed dead and highly dangerous. The man who sat not three feet away from her.

* * *

He had spent the night looking through the many papers he had taken. On the surface the documents had been useless. All the important documents had been removed. He'd expected that of course. However he was trained to find the clues, to spot the discrepancies. Most of the documents were in some sort of code, but he deciphered enough of them to get some names, some locations and some dates. Some of them struck a chord with him. Pulling on the edge of his subconscious as being familiar. He had stared at the pages for a long time, willing his memories to form together to make a cohesive image. To help him to understand who he was and what he had done. He hadn't even realised how long he had sat there for. He hadn't even noticed the sun coming up. Not until he had heard her footsteps coming along the corridor.

Although one bit of paper was different. This paper was a picture. A picture with a face that did more than twinge his memories. He knew this face. Not just from two days ago when he had seen that face staring at him from behind a mask and then bleeding and bruised with the injuries that he had given him. He had seen that face before. He had seen that face. Smiling, laughing, angry, sad. He could picture that face in a hundred different scenarios. But were they real, or just his imagination filling in the blanks?

He needed more information. He needed to know how he knew this man who so adamantly insisted that he knew him. This man, Captain America, Steve Rogers, was over ninety years old and if what Ally said was true, he had been under ice for the last seventy years. How could it even be possible that they knew each other? Whatever answer or reason he came up with seemed entirely implausible. The more he dwelled on it the more his head started to ache.

When the TV clicked on, the screen was filled with a picture of the object of his thoughts. His mind once again immediately began assaulting him with another series of successive images and sounds that made his head spin. He stumbled to find a seat and sank down onto the couch.

'Captain Steve Rogers has been released from hospital after suffering extensive injuries in the events that occurred in Washington D.C two days ago,' came the voice of the reporter. 'Authorities are still searching the Potomac River for a known associate of HYDRA who is believed to be responsible. The man is armed and highly dangerous although he is believed to have died in the incident.

He didn't know why but he felt a huge wave of relief wash over him that he was ok. He told himself that it was guilt. That it was because he had caused those injuries but deep down he knew that it was more than that.

'We're here at the Captain America exhibition at the Smithsonian Museum which opened last month to meet with some fans of the superhero to gather reactions of this latest news.'

He immediately focused his attention on the TV screen again, ignoring the interviewer and the crowds of people. His gaze went behind them, latching onto a phrase that seemed very familiar 'The Howling Commando's'. He knew that if we wanted answers, if he wanted to know more about Steve Rogers then there was only one option.

Not sure if he was talking to himself or to the woman on the armchair across from him, he spoke his plans aloud. 'Tomorrow, we're going there.'

* * *

 _Thanks to everyone who has continued to read this and those who have followed the story. You guys are amazing. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know not a lot happens but you can see where it's heading. Please be kind and leave me a review._

 _Hey emelia. lozano thanks again for the review. In her defence she didn't know what she was about to watch. Plus he's not actually angry with her for having seen it, he's angry about what happened to him and what they did to him. As to why she's still there... well they say there are three possible reactions to danger, fight, flight or freeze. We all like to think we'd fight or flee, but in the reality of the situation people can freeze. Bucky has already hurt Ally. He's threatened her numerous times. She's smart enough to know that she can't outrun him. She knows that he is the man who put Captain America in hospital. If he could do that to a super soldier then she knows she's not a match for him. She might want to run from him, but she's smart enough to bide her time. Not to mention the fact that she now knows that there might be other people out there after her just for being near him. Plus if Ally ran away from him then my story would be over and where is the fun in that? As to how he'll get information. At the end of The Winter Soldier, SHIELD had been all but dismantled as they had been so heavily infiltrated and corrupted by HYDRA. Not to mention that the man in charge of SHIELD was the one who actually removed his memories in the first place. Bucky is not going to trust them. As for the Avengers... well obviously Steve is the best person to go to for information, but we know he doesn't go to him or any of the other Avengers. I kind of think he doesn't want Steve to see him for who he is now. He's not the Bucky that he used to be and he doesn't want to have disappointed Steve or let him down. Just bear with me and hopefully in the next few chapters you'll get to see some of the stuff that you want to happen and you'll see the route I'm going down._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 _'I didn't come this far to only come this far'_

Ally had never been to the Smithsonian Museum. She had lived in Washington D.C for nearly a year and yet somehow she had never managed to find the time to go. Yet when she had pictured going never in her wildest dreams had it been like this. They hadn't spoken all morning. The only words he had spoken to her were when he had told her to get ready. She had been too surprised by appearance to even think to question him. Gone was the black leather, the gun holsters and the strange straps across his chest. In place he looked relatively normal. He had clearly showered as his hair looked clean and was pulled away from his face, although he hadn't bothered shaving. The only indication that he wasn't all he seemed was the metal hand that was poking out of the long- sleeved red top. She wondered where he had gotten the clothes from. She hadn't even seen him leave her apartment.

On any other day she would be excited to explore the vast treasures that lay inside, yet walking beside an experienced killer in disguise with his leather gloves and black cap to cover his face, she couldn't think of anything else except trying to get away from him. They walked together side by side towards the humongous building's main entrance which Ally was busy admiring when at the last moment he pulled her to the side and directed them towards the back of the building.

'Where are we going?' Ally asked him in confusion as he finally led them down a side alley.

'Back entrance. They have metal detectors,' he explained in his usual brusque manner as he reached out to try the handle of a door. Ally thought for sure that the door would be locked, so she was astonished when the handle snapped off in his hand and the door swung open. That was the joy of having a freakishly strong metal arm she guessed.

Once they were in the building he led them through a series of long corridors, each one virtually identical, yet he navigated them with ease, leaving Ally wondering how it was that he always seemed to know where he was going. All of a sudden with one final turn he pushed her through a door and suddenly they were merging with a crowd that all seemed to be heading in the same direction. He gripped her arm in his tight grasp, pulling her close to him and steered her in the same direction as everyone else. She still didn't understand why they were here but as they walked under a walkway and she saw the giant poster hanging from it, suddenly things started to make sense. The Captain America exhibit. Of course. Some of the kids in her class at school had been talking about visiting it. She hadn't made the connection until now. He wanted to learn more about Captain America. What was it about Captain America that interested him so much? Why did Steve Rogers seem to be the key to the all of this?

* * *

He was nervous. He hadn't felt nervous in a long time. It was a strange sensation. His whole body seemed alive; a strange energy coursing through his veins, making him overly tense. He was suddenly aware of just how hard he was squeezing Ally's arm and he quickly let her go. He told himself that he let her go because they had to blend in and him holding onto her would draw too much attention, but deep down he knew that wasn't true. When he saw her immediately rub the area of her where he had just been holding he felt that other unfamiliar emotion again- the quick stab of guilt. At least he hadn't been holding her with his metal arm.

However he didn't have time to dwell on it as his purpose for being here came into view. He had to focus. He couldn't allow himself to get distracted. Not now when he was so close to finding some answers. To find out who he was.

He entered the Captain America exhibition with a wary expectation. He didn't know what he wanted to find. What he hoped to find. But he knew he had to try. His eyes scanned the area as he tried to survey the room for any threats. He clocked the exit, the aged security guard who wasn't even close to being a threat. Content that they were safe for now he turned his attention back to the exhibit. Looking around he wasn't surprised to see pictures of Captain America in all sorts of different poses covering every surface. He recognised him as the man that he fought a few days before. He recognised the suit and the shield. But that was where the recognition ended. He had to fight down a feeling of disappointment. Nothing here felt familiar. Nothing was coming back to him.

That was until one of the pictures in front of him changed. The picture was of Captain America, not in the suit that he had met him in but in a soldier's uniform. From the war. His brain supplied the answer. It surprised him so he barely even registered as the image in front of him began to change. Lifting his eyes again he watched as the image transformed. As the figure shrunk and transformed into a small and skinny man. A man that he knew.

'Steve,' he whispered. He knew him. He knew that face. Memories, one after the other entered his head and he staggered back from the image in surprise. Captain America hadn't been lying. He did know who he was. They had been friends. Best friends. Brothers. He could remember playing together, laughing together, bringing Steve soup when he had been sick. He turned away from the picture with renewed purpose, ignoring Ally's wary look of surprise at his sudden movements. His eyes scanned the pictures behind the glass with increasing familiarity. He recognised a street, a building, Brooklyn. They were from Brooklyn. New York. He had come from Brooklyn. Steve had come from Brooklyn. There was a picture of a school, his school, an ice- cream parlour, he liked strawberry. He recognised it all, but it wasn't what he was looking for. He needed to know who _he_ was.

He took a moment before moving onto the main hall. He needed to be more controlled or he was going to draw attention to himself. He pulled his cap further down to cover his face and moved into the main hall where pictures of Steve as Captain America from during the war were displayed. The images were familiar but the feeling wasn't as strong as it had been with the ones from before. He was losing hope again when he turned around and drew in a short, sharp breath. In front of him was an image that was both unfamiliar and instantly recognisable. He knew at once it was what he had been looking for. Standing in front of him was a giant image of his own face. It was his and yet it wasn't. It was the face that he used to have. It was who he used to be. James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky.

He stood frozen staring at the image and reading the words which acted like a key to his mind, unlocking new memories with every word that he read. He remembered playing with his sisters, walking them to school, saying goodbye to them as they cried before he went off to war. He remembered being a prisoner of war. He remembered Steve rescuing him. A different Steve than he had known before. The Steve from the pictures all around him.

He looked into the eyes of Bucky Barnes and tried to find something that he recognised in that image. He looked different now. The man in that picture was strong and confident. His eyes showed belief, hope and an innocence that he knew he no longer possessed. He wasn't that man anymore. That man was gone. He had died in 1944 falling from a train. He had come here for answers, to try and find out who he was. All he had found out was who he had been. He still didn't know who he was.

He drew a deep breath and shook off the emotions flooding through him. Apparently no one else here thought he resembled the man in the image. He had stood here for at least five minutes and not one person had made the connection. He should be glad, but he felt a feeling close to disappointment, almost as if he wanted to be recognised. Like he wanted them to know that he was still that man. That he was still Bucky Barnes. Knowing he had pushed his luck in staying as long as he had he turned away from the image ready to get Ally and get out of this place. Only the space behind him was empty. She was gone. Ally was gone.

* * *

Ally had followed behind him throughout the museum religiously staying two steps behind him. On any other day she would have found the exhibit fascinating but today she really didn't care about where Captain America grew up, how many illnesses he had pre- serum or the gripping evolution of his suit throughout the years. To say that all she wanted was to be away from him would have been a lie. Deep down she wanted to know. She wanted to know who this mysterious stranger was who had invaded her life was. She wanted a name and she wanted answers.

When he had suddenly stopped in front of her she barely avoided bumping into him. Something about him was different. He was surprised. She glanced at his face first. Watched as his eyes filled with relief, fear, surprise. His jaw went slack and he inhaled a shaky breath. Wanting to know what had garnered such a reaction, Ally turned to look past him and took in a sharp gasp of her own. Her face flicked between the face on the glass in front of her and the face beside her. They were the same. James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. She knew his name. Finally she knew who he was.

She hungrily read the information printed beside the picture and could feel herself turning pale with shock. He had been Captain America's best friend. How did Captain America's best friend turn out to be a ruthless killer with a metal arm? He had been a war hero. What the hell had happened to him? Not only that but how was even still alive? He had to be nearly a hundred. He should be long dead.

Instantly Ally could feel her body screaming at her to get away from him. She knew he had been dangerous. She knew what he had been. She had been afraid of him. But now, somehow now she was terrified. Now she didn't know what or who he was. She needed to get out of here and away from him.

He seemed to be preoccupied. Frozen in surprise. Too busy to notice her anyway. She was just about to turn away when an image on a screen caught her eye. It was him again, Bucky Barnes, but this time it was a video. She knew she shouldn't wait. She knew that if she was ever going to get away from him it had to be now while he was distracted. The museum was huge and it was crowded. If she ran she would easily lose him. Yet there was something about this video that stopped her. He wasn't doing anything special in the video. It was just a series of short clips of him with Captain America. Talking to each other and looking at a map. It was the next image that stopped her in her tracks. The hair was shorter, his face more clean shaven and there weren't as many lines around the eyes. But he looked happy and carefree. He was laughing. He had a smile that could make any girl stop in her tracks. What had happened to him to turn that good- looking, happy guy into the cold shell standing beside her?

Ally's instincts finally kicked in and she tore her gaze from the screen and slowly started to step backwards. With every step she was sure that he would turn around and stop her. Her hammering heart- beat rang loudly in her ears as she held her breath, afraid that even the sound of her breathing would alert him to her escape. After her twelfth away from him towards her freedom, a couple walked past in the space between them, blocking him from her view. As if broken from a trance, she took her chance, turned and ran. She weaved through the crowds, barely stopping to apologise to the people she accidentally bumped into. She had nearly made it out of the main exhibition and was about to celebrate her success when something crashed into her from her behind and before she knew it she was pinned against the wall.

Her brain tried to process what had happened but straight away she knew. 'Not fast enough' she thought. She tried to struggle but it was futile. His entire body pressed against hers, pinning her against the wall. One of her arms was pinned in between their two bodies and the other was held in his firm grasp pinned up by her head. His thumb pressed firmly against the tender base of her throat, the rest of his long fingers rested against her cheek, almost in a caress. The brim of his cap bumped against her head as he leaned forward bringing his lips close to her ear, his hair brushing against and tickling her collar bone. Surely he wouldn't kill her here with so many people around she thought desperately as her heart beat wildly within her chest. She was sure that with their bodies so close he must be able to feel it hammering against him, signalling to him how afraid she was. She wondered if he enjoyed it, knowing how terrified she was. Knowing how much control and power be had.  
Ally turned her head away from him as much as she could. She couldn't bear to be this close to him. To feel his breath on her face. She tried to look out over the broad expanse of his shoulder and almost wished she hadn't. No one was coming to help her. In this busy crowded museum full of people they were all just walking past oblivious as to what was happening. No one was even sparing them a second look. It was if they were invisible. People's eyes just skimmed right past them as if it was perfectly normal to see a girl being strangled against a wall. Her heart hammered in fear. He would kill her right here in front of everyone and no one would blink an eye. No one would even notice.

In desperation Ally tried to catch the eye of someone, anyone. At that moment an elderly couple walked past and the woman's eyes locked with hers. Silently Ally pleaded for help. Begging the woman to help her. She could have cried when the woman gave her a look of disgust before turning her nose up and walking on, shaking her head and pointing them out to her husband who repeated her actions. Ally was so confused. What was wrong with people? Why would they not help her? How could they not see what was happening?  
Suddenly she realised the answer. They _couldn't_ see what was happening. She tried to see it from their perspective. The way he has angled his body, positioned his head near her neck, his hand gripping hers near their heads and his other hand gently resting on her face made it look like they were a couple. A couple in the middle of a rather intimate moment. Ally couldn't be sure if he'd done it on purpose but somehow she knew that he had. It was what he did. She had thought that he was an expert at hiding in the shadows, but he was a master at hiding in plain sight too. She sucked in a ragged breath. Preparing to use the final weapon in her arsenal but she never got the chance.

Just as she was about to unleash the power of her vocal chords when he surprised her as the pressure of his thumb on the base of her throat relented and he pulled back from her slightly. Not enough that she could move, but just enough for him to draw his head back so that he could look her directly in the eye. She tried to turn her head, to avoid looking at him. She didn't want to look at him. He was too close. She didn't want him to see the fear and revulsion that were in her eyes.

'I told you not to run. Do you not realise what you could have done?' he said in a voice that was so far removed from what he was expecting that she couldn't help it when he eyes slid to meet his. But when her eyes met his, she found that she couldn't look away. Instead of the black anger that she was sure she would find, she started to see the fear in the clearest blue eyes she had ever seen. She found that she couldn't look away as he continued, 'You would put every single person in this building in danger. HYDRA will come and take out every person in this building to get to you and me. No witnesses. A tragic accident. A gas leak they'll say.'

She struggled to stay upright when he released the pressure from her throat and stepped away from her giving her the choice. Ally looked at the many faces that passed her by. Was he telling the truth? Was the danger really that great? These people had launched three killing machines into the sky, destroyed a government building and put Captain America in the hospital. Plus the fear in his eyes was real. She had seen it. Yes, she concluded. If they could do all that then making her disappear probably wasn't even much of a challenge. But what was she meant to do. Trust him? Go with him? She wasn't sure that she could. She didn't want to go with him willingly and she willed herself to think of an alternative, of a way out, but she was coming up with nothing.

He made the decision for her. Taking her lack of action as assent to his plan he moved his body and firmly gripped onto her arm and led her through the crowds, weaving in and out of the mass of people with a grace and agility that surprised her. He moved with determination but never quickly enough to draw attention to them. They were nearing the exit when he suddenly swerved them in a different direction, keeping Ally upright as her feet stumbled beneath her. She was about to turn her head to see what had caused this change when he said, 'don't look back.'

It took every ounce of restraint that she had to do as he said and not turn around. But in the end she didn't have to. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a flurry of activity of men in white shirts, security guards she realised, pointing in their direction and talking into handheld radios. He must have seen them too as he quickened his pace causing Ally to have to practically run alongside him just to keep up.

'You need to do exactly what I say. They're here. HYDRA are here.'

* * *

 _Ahhh this chapter has been so bloody frustrating to write. I had a whole other chapter written and all of this chapter's stuff was meant to be in the next chapter, but I wrote the whole thing out and hated it. I had wanted to make this story from Ally's perspective but surprisingly I'm finding it so much easier to write as Bucky. I'm also trying to make him seem believable whilst also not making him seem like a ruthless arse, which is also really hard. This chapter isn't exactly how I wanted it to be and I'll probably go back and edit as some point because I feel it's a pretty important chapter, but I'm going on holiday so I wanted to put this up before I went. I hope you enjoy and please leave a review or follow this story._

 _To Emelia. lopez, no thank you for reviewing every chapter. It really makes my day to get a review and to know what people are actually thinking about the story. I feel like this is the turning point in the story where we'll see Ally and Bucky interacting more with each other which will hopefully be quite exciting. Anyway thanks again for taking the time to review. It means a lot._


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

They hadn't made it to the end of the gallery before the shrill blare of the fire alarm echoed through the halls. Ally couldn't help but flinch at the loudness. It seemed wrong in the quiet stillness of the museum. As they strode through the next hall Ally watched the passing faces. She couldn't help but notice that every face held the same expression. The same look of confusion, as if they wouldn't actually believe there was a fire or that they actually had to leave the building until someone else led the way. Little did these people know that they were right. There wasn't actually a fire. Instead there was a secret, evil organisation hunting down a rogue soldier. Ally found herself nearly laughing of the absurdity of the situation. It was like something straight out of a movie. Regardless they were right. There wasn't a fire. He had warned her what they would do if they found him. They were clearing the building, trying to find him. Her stomach dropped at the realisation. The alarm must mean that they were already here.

'Don't turn around,' he said yanking Ally's arm and snapping her head back around to face him. He moved quickly and purposefully. She could tell that he was trying not to attract attention to them but she could also tell that he was not succeeding. Whether it was the deliberate way that he moved through the crowds, her panicked expression and hurried steps to keep up with his long quick strides or the security guards scouting the perimeter, speaking into radios and nodding in their direction but they were attracting attention.

He moved them purposefully through the ever growing crowd that were finally making their way towards the nearest exits. He kept a tight, nearly bruising grip on her arm as he steered her through the crowd. As the crowd bottlenecked near the main entrance she could sense his growing frustration at their slow pace. 'Keep your head down,' he commanded as he slowly manoeuvred them to the edge of the crowd, slowing to a near stop before pulling them into a deserted corridor.

Once they were free from prying eyes he picked up the pace, until she found herself nearly jogging to keep up with him, In front of them, at the end of the corridor she could see the fire escape. She couldn't resist but turn around. To take one last hopeful glance behind her. To see if anyone was coming to her rescue. To see if anyone was coming to kill them. The corridor was empty. She didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Together they burst through the fire exit and out into an alleyway, only to come to an immediate stop. They weren't alone.

* * *

It took him less than four seconds to assess the situation. Twelve cops in total. All armed. One rookie, first week on the job. Inexperienced. An easy take down. Although he could be unpredictable. Two ageing cops, one overweight. All past their best. Four average cops. Perfectly adequate at their job. The other four were different. Suits. Highly trained. Bucky nearly smiled. If they were highly skilled they would be out in the field, not stuck in a suit on security detail.

Twelve in total. Easy.

That was until Ally moved behind him, reminding him of the reality of his situation. He didn't have the advantage. They did.

They were cornered. A quick two second glance confirmed what he already knew. No exit behind, a dead end street to the left and twelve cops with four police cars to the right. No shelter at all.

He had one option. He would have to fight. He would have to fight and protect Ally at the same time. It wasn't impossible. Yet that niggling sensation lingering in the pit of his stomach made him uneasy. He has brought her into this situation and it was up to him to get them out of it.

* * *

There were twelve guns. All pointed at them. At her. She didn't need to be a genius to figure out that they were trapped. The door behind them had already closed and there was only one way out. Ally started to raise her hands in the universal signal of surrender when he, James, or Bucky or whoever the hell he was positioned his body in front of her, keeping her firmly behind him with his metal arm. She turned her head to look at him, surprised by the gesture.

'Mam,' called the taller of the men in the black suits bringing her gaze to him. He edged forward slightly, his gun never straying from the target beside her. 'Mam, please step away from the target. Slowly. We won't harm you.'

The man looked at her kindly, motioning her to come to him. Ally couldn't remember the last time someone had looked at her with kindness and not cold blankness or distrust. Instinctively she leaned forward desperately wanting safety and protection. Black and white uniforms, red and blue flashing flights, shiny golden badges. It all screamed safety to Ally and safety was what she desperately wanted.

Yet between her and safety was a quite easily 200 pound man. A man who, even though he hadn't moved a muscle was definitely holding her back. 'Don't,' he muttered so quietly that she wasn't even sure he had spoken. Ally wanted to go to them. It made sense. It was what she had hoped for. What she had wanted to happen. Wasn't this the only way that she could escape from this? She would be rescued by the police, he would be arrested and then she could go back to her normal life. So why was she hesitating? She told herself to do it, to just take a step forward, but her body wouldn't comply.

'Mam,' the officer said again, bringing her attention back to him. 'We need you to move. Now!'

That niggling feeling continued to gnaw away inside of her. Every part of her screamed to move. To run. But that single word 'don't' had worked it's away into her mind and continued to play on constant repeat, plaguing her with doubt. He had warned her earlier, inside the museum. He had said they would torture her, kill her. Destroy anyone who had even laid eyes on him. But was he telling the truth or was he lying just to keep her obedient? But why would he even want her around? Surely he would have had an easier time escaping without her slowing him down.

Ally didn't know what to do. Who to believe. She knew she should trust the police but something about the whole situation just didn't feel right. She could tell that the officers were getting impatient. A slight shift from foot to foot, a tightening of their grips around their guns. She could see that they wanted to act. The officer in charge was still looking at her with concern but as his gaze slid momentarily to one of his colleagues, a look that barely lasted a second, something passed between them. She couldn't put her finger on what it was, but instinctively she knew. A flicker of the eyes to her direction, a nearly imperceptible nod of the head. In that moment she knew that James had been telling the truth. She knew that these men wanted her dead. And what's more, the officer knew it too.

Ally stared back at the officer. Both unmoving but she saw it in his face. She saw the moment he realised that she knew the truth. In that moment the friendly, kind mask slipped to reveal the hard ruthlessness underneath of a man who would do anything to fulfil his duty. He wasted no time in changing in target. In one quick adjustment he shifted his aim pointing the gun directly at her head and pulled the trigger.

* * *

 **A/N - Hey so I know it's been a while but I'm so happy to have a new chapter. I have two fanfics on the go (the other is on a different site) but I just found it so hard to write and get in the frame of mind for the characters plus I just couldn't get the chapter past a certain point. Then after a year of not writing I got a lovely review from elizabarnes384 and it put the story back into my head and here we are. So never underestimate the value of a nice review. It can honestly give the right motivation at the right time.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

'Evil begins when you begin to treat people as things.' Terry Pratchett

It was over before it had even begun. In the second that the officer had pulled the trigger Ally had known that it was over. Twelve against one were impossible odds. Yet the second that the officer pulled the trigger and that bullet came barrelling towards her head Ally came to realise just exactly who James Buchanan Barnes actually was. He wasn't a war hero, he wasn't Captain America's best friend and he most certainly wasn't just a simple HYDRA agent. She had known he was strong, he had to have been to fight Captain America but what she hadn't realised was that he was a ruthless killer.

People often say that in these situations your life flashes before your eyes. That you relive all of your happiest moments or list all of your greatest regrets in those last few moments of existence. Ally however didn't experience any of that. She didn't have time to. By the time she had even processed that a bullet was hurtling straight towards her forehead the man beside her had sprung into action. Everything around her exploded. Everything became a blur of sound and movement, overloading her senses. Screams, yells and gunshots filled her ears. Everything moved so quickly, so quickly that Ally's mind and eyes could not keep up, could not process what was happening. Bucky manoeuvred her body around him as if they were both part of an intricate dance. He spun her around keeping her behind him or bringing her in front of him, constantly keeping her out of danger. She stayed close to him, clinging to him, feeling the power of his muscles under her fingers as he lurched spun and twisted.

Suddenly Ally felt herself being dragged back from her protector, being yanked back by her hair. Her hands flew to her head at the pain and she stumbled backwards, losing her footing and crying out in pain as she tumbled to the ground, falling until her head hit the solid concrete beneath her. Groaning she reached behind her to touch the tender spot at the back of her scalp, relieved to see no blood on her fingers.

Blinking hard to refocus her vision she heard a thump to her right hand side and felt the gust of hair on her face as something fell beside her. Turning her head to the side her heart lurched forward, slamming into her chest before coming to a complete stop. Ally wanted to scream, but though her mouth was open, the sound wouldn't come out. She couldn't breathe; all she do was stare at the face lying on the ground in front of her. The glassy eyes stared back at her, the mouth wide open like a cavernous black hole, the neck twisted grotesquely at an impossible angle. Scrambling back in fear Ally pulled herself up to her knees and suddenly realised just how quiet it was. She braced herself, knowing deep down what she would see, but it still wasn't enough to prepare her for the shock of what she saw when she finally turned around. Dead men littered the alleyway ground, strewn in awkward positions Limbs sticking out at strange angles. Holes in foreheads. Unseeing eyes. Blood. So much blood.

The horror paralysed her as she looked around, trying hard not to see their faces, trying to block the Image from her mind. She didn't know how long she would have sat there if he hadn't pulled her out of it. 'Get up,' he demanded, looming over her. 'We need to move.'

Ally looked up at him with wide, fearful eyes as if seeing him again for the first time. Blood was spattered across his face and streaked across his hands. He didn't even looked out of breath or fatigued in any way. She knew she should probably have stayed silent and done what he asked, but she couldn't help herself. 'You... you... killed them. All of them.'

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Bucky could see the judgement in her eyes. The fear. The horror. He let his eyes scan over the scene. Twelve targets nuetralised. He wouldn't feel guilty. It was them or him. There was no other way out. He knew. He'd been through it before. They would have kept coming if he hadn't stopped them. Besides they had seen face. Seen Ally's face. They couldn't be allowed to live. He refused to feel guilty. He had to keep them both safe. He had to get them out of here. He reached down and pulled her off the ground and to her feet, ignoring her flinching away from him. If he could leave her behind he would but they'd come too far for that. Leaving her behind would mean another dead body to add to the pile already littering the street. Another black mark against his name. What was one more? Why couldn't he leave her? Why was that annoying feeling of guilt niggling in the pit of his stomach?

He knew they had to leave. They had to move quickly. The next wave would be more numerous, be more skilled, have better weapons. He couldn't take that chance.

He reached down and picked up the cap that had fallen from her head and to the ground when she had fallen. He passed it to her, holding it out between them. When she didn't move to take it he grew impatient and pulled it down on her head anyway, probably more forcefully that he should have, he wasn't exactly used to being gentle, before grabbing her arm and pulling her through the maze of bodies and broken glass littering the ground. He needed to get them out of here. He needed to leave D.C. He needed a car. Then he needed a plan. He needed to end this once and for all.

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 **A/N- thanks again to everyone who had read, favourites and reviewed. I know this is a short chapter but it just felt right to keep it separate from the previous chapter. I've already started the next chapter so hopefully I'll have it with you soon. Please bear with me. I'm finding action quite hard to write.**


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